| 11.2°C Dublin

Tickled by much ado about nothing

Early Tuesday morning and there they are talking about Pat Kenny's Frontline, which they both consider to be 'what Pat is made for'. Colm elaborated: "It's not like, oh here comes Tommy Tiernan and, look, I have no sense of humour' -- cheekily alluding to Kenny's persona as Late Late host.

The car magnate Bill Cullen had also been on Frontline offering advice to the young and unemployed. One can only imagine he wasn't shy with the self mythologising . . .

"I used to go to school with no shoes on me feet', intoned Colm's impersonation of the immodest Cullen.

Jim Jim invoked the old Monty Python sketch and they were off. "I used to go to school with no shoes and no clothes on . . ."

"I used to go to eat gravel," added Jim Jim.

"I used to go to clothes with no school on," said a dyslexic sounding Colm. It was a slip of the tongue. But what was revealing, was that it sounded like a deliberate subversion -- even when they are getting it wrong they are getting it right.

Jim Jim's fertile imagination went on to describe Pat's presidential presence in the RTE canteen, and he often wondered whether he should, in fact, genuflect to the great man.

"He's strong" said Jim Jim, and warned any Frontline hecklers, "he'd give you a box.

"Do you remember when we did that photo-shoot with him and he pushed us out of the way to make himself look good?'

And in the process Colm and Jim Jim did what they do best . . . being funny.

On Monday, Ray D'Arcy was talking about another outlet that has the ability to make a lot out of a little -- the Irish Film And Television Awards.

Specifically, they were referring to the sartorial elegance of our stars of screen. But who won the nominations for best dressed dame at the IFTAs by the judging panel of co-presenters Mairead and Jenny?

As if she hasn't won enough awards already, young Saoirse Ronan was voted the most sartorially elegant of the women. However, the compliments turned feline as a minor bitchfest started about the evening gown of the All Ireland Talent Show judge Blathnaid Ni Chofaigh. "Her dress makes her look much older than she is," said the ladies whose bravery I'd have to admire. It's not often you hear women dissing other women on Irish radio for their crimes of fashion.

"She's a good friend of the show," they continued and surely that stinging criticism will sorely test that friendship.

In the men's category rugby superstar Brian O'Driscoll failed to impress with his cravat, "Rugby players have huge necks and maybe it's to hide that?" suggested Ray. However it was his fiancee, Amy Huberman, who provoked the biggest reaction. Her green dress had been described as understated and classy, and she looked like she was about to win her own nomination until the host intervened. "I thought the dress made her look a bit mumsy."

Immediately, he was set upon by his feral co-presenters. "You mean she didn't have her dress slashed up to her arse," said the ladies, and "her boobs hanging out" they continued indignantly -- and accused Ray of being a bit of a Tiger Woods.

Ray D'Arcy as Tiger Woods?

As I say they have the ability to make a lot out of a little.

The Colm and Jim Jim Breakfast Show, 2FM 6-9am weekdays The Ray D'Arcy Show Today FM 9-noon weekdays