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This week's X Factor in 10 points

1 IF WE learned anything from last night's sing-off between Kitty and Mischa, it is that only rake-thin women can get away with PVC trousers.

2 Louis has bid adieu to his final performer. We'll miss the way he scuttled after his acts when they were booted off, like a long-suffering husband after his wife made a scene at a party.

3 We were both touched and disturbed to hear that Kitty's father had been getting up at 6am to wear a sandwich board with his daughter's face on it. He can now look forward to a sleep in.

4 What does it say about the contestants that a 'power cut' generated more talk than them?

5 Marcus is delighted that he "found his identity". Bruno Mars may not be so enthusiastic, given that it's his identity that Marcus has hijacked.

6 Do the contestants change the pitch of their voices in the backstage segment just before the voting lines close? It seems they all adopt ickle-wickle, cutesy baby voices to get viewers to take pity on them.

7 Everyone wondered if 'performance artist' Lady Gaga was ever going to come out of the rigor mortis pose at the end of her performance. Dermot looked genuinely terrified.

8 Janet (above) was told to mix it up, then to return to her roots. She did that and was called one-dimensional and boring. Damned if you do . . .

9 Kelly and Tulisa (left) didn't like Marcus's performance. Gary said they were engaging in "tactical critique". What is it they say about disliking traits in other people that you carry yourself?

10 We're guessing Dermot is contractually obliged to perform that ridiculous little dance that opens the Saturday show. > katie Byrne


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