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Emily Joyce: 07/01/2010

AM. Still wallowing in the post-Christmas Day chocolate mire; can barely see my toes, but there is a backlog of goodies to get through so must remain strong.

At least it's early days yet so there are still some of the 'nice' sweets left, give it a few days and we'll be down to all the 'ick' ones, like the feckin' coconut eclairs -- that's when it really gets depressing.

PM. Have discovered a new player in the Christmas choccie stakes: Thornton's Classic Collection. I got a box as a pressie from one of my nephews. Inspired! The fudge is a revelation. Nice to know that even a hardened chocoholic like me can still be pleasantly surprised.

AM. Still deliberating over my relationship with Owen. It's been great but bound to go tits up sooner or later so may as well call it a day. Got a very expensive necklace from him for Christmas not to mention an extra large Cadbury's selection box, so don't think it would be fair to end things before the Curly Wurly has even been scoffed. Will see it through 'til New Year's.

PM. Owen has just invited me to a New Year's Eve masked ball. Sounds very exciting but, for those in the know, the whole masked ball thing is a big scam really. It immediately conjures up images of accidental no-strings sex with an unknown masked stranger in the cloakroom, whereas in actual fact you arrive to find a crappy mask on your place setting which everyone wears for about 10 minutes 'til they get too bored and/or pissed to bother anymore.

So by the time you figure out that you have bugger all chance of mindblowing anonymous sex you will have already spent the 200 quid on a sub-standard three-course meal and a pissy glass of complimentary champagne.

AM. Compulsory 'show your face in work even though you're not going to do a tap' day. I mean really, to all the bosses of Ireland: who are we kidding? You know that feck all will get done 'til at least January 6th, so why not just go with it?

PM. Bored, bored, bored. I could be at home watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for God's sake!

AM. Suppose I better compile some New Year resolutions. 1) Stop procrastinating. 2) Emmm... Ah feck it, will finish this list tomorrow.

PM. Last night of 2009 and of my relationship with Owen. Time to get all melancholy over a Snowball.

AM. OMG! I have been proposed to! I cannot believe it. Just after midnight Owen got down on one knee! I realise now why men propose with diamond rings: when you see a gigantic diamond being shoved into your face the only word that comes into your head naturally is 'YES!' I am going to be Mrs...? Mrs... Emmm?

PM. Just checked -- it's Sidebottom. I will be Emily Sidebottom. Think I might hang on to my maiden name...

Keep up with Emily's week on emilyjoycediary.wordpress.com