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This lying toad exploited Katy... don't believe a word he writes

If the tacky and reassuringly disastrous book about the life of Katy French wasn't enough to make you despair about what Irish book companies are willing to publish these days, try this one for size.

Gavin Lambe Murphy, a name I vaguely remember from the pages of VIP a full lifetime ago, has been commissioned to write his autobiography which will be, and I quote, "a warts and all account of the highs and lows of the Celtic Tiger".

Well, it will have warts, we're all agreed on that.

Namely, I hope, how he scammed a free holiday for himself and a friend by claiming he was doing a travel feature for VIP, when he wasn't; driving PR companies mad by borrowing clothes or phones from them, and then having to be chased to the ends of the earth before handing them back, and how anyone at the time who behaved in an arrogant, vulgar, 'don't you know who I am?' sort of way was referred to as 'doing a GLM'.

Gavin is, after all, the man who shares a dubious honour with the even more reptilian Jason O'Toole, author of the Katy French book, as having callously exploited her death.

Two years ago, the day after Katy died from a suspected drug overdose, he gave a story to a newspaper describing in lurid detail how they used to drink champagne and snort cocaine all night as a result of which he garnered or got a bit of publicity for himself.

I'm sure we can expect as much class and good taste from his forthcoming book.

And given Gavin's fondness for embellishment in his stories, not to mention exaggeration or just downright fantasy, it's tempting to warn people by way of that old phrase about the 60s -- if Gavin reports on a particular event, it means he probably wasn't there.