Somewhere, Emma Stone is sleeping with one eye open after filing a restraining order. Well, actually, most likely the 22-year-old actress is rocking back and forth, howling with laughter.
Jim Carrey, one minute and 53 seconds, a hand-held camera and some brilliant comic timing equals an ingenious digital love letter to her. And Hollywood, the twittersphere and just about everyone who's anyone is talking about how creepy he is.
You've got to think that people are more than dumb and dumber if they think this little stunt is for real.
But nowhere are people more like sheep than in Hollywood. Just one tweet questioning the sincerity of Carrey and with a click of a mouse, thousands missing their funny bone think Carrey actually meant this sleazeball love missive.
He may be in the middle of man-opause but if the 49-year- old was a certified crackpot, he probably wouldn't have drifted into a reverie about the sex he was having with Stone in their fantasy future; he'd have dished out the spicy details.
Carrey isn't the first to jump aboard the online love-declaring and dating agency bandwagon. And Sinead O'Connor went on a manhunt through a national newspaper last weekend. It wasn't a 'poor me, I'd like a cuddle' sort of plea. Sinead came armed with her list of deal breakers (no stubble), qualities that would put you in pole position (being a member of the gardai, leather, agrarian and rugby playing) and straight up said she wanted some sexual congress. Casting the net pretty wide then. And Sinead wasn't having us on; she is deadly serious.
But being municipal in your search for love doesn't mean you drop your standards. Sinead said subsequently that she wouldn't have it off with any old idiot.
She's already texted Ryan Tubridy for a date who apparently didn't cop that it was a date text and said he'd be in touch. Ryan, what's your relationship status? Single? Not single? It's complicated? Well if you're in the market, Sinead is, too. Love letters are so last century. Maybe Facebook her or write her an open letter seeing as you're off Twitter. 'Dear Sinead. Nothing compares to you. Want to go out?' Just don't drink and dial, Ryan.
When did love and devotion become so communal and for public consumption? When did romance stop being between two people and include the rest of us? Why tell the world about the love of your life? Tell her. In private. And I don't want to know what your sexual proclivities are. It's TMI, and should be kept on the QT.
Anti-public displays of affection are customarily reserved for bitter singletons or the broken hearted but now even the happily married are signing up to the campaign to keeping something just between the two of you.
I just hope Jim Carrey doesn't go and try and assassinate someone. Then we'll know he's crazy. And the video will be for real. Creeeeeeeeeeeeppy.