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My mum was waiting for the call to tell her I was dead, reveals Colin

Colin Farrell's mother lived in fear that her son would die tragically in Hollywood.

The reformed bad boy said that a high octane diet of drugs, alcohol and sex had him on the brink of disaster.

The Dublin hellraiser's lifestyle broke his mother's heart and he said that she was waiting for a phone call to reveal the worst news possible.

In an open and honest interview with Esquire magazine, the actor admitted that his addictions had spiralled out of control and describes his lonely existence in Hollywood where he would take drugs and alcohol alone. "I was killing myself. My mum was waiting for a call to say I was dead," Farrell said.

"I'm a garden-variety drug addict. I'd take anything until it's all gone. So forget Hollywood, parties and fun and all that, at the end it was me on my own in a room with a kit of stuff every night."

The Castleknock actor said that his appetite for women was such that he had "more one-night stands in a week than there are nights in a week".

"I think I probably annoyed a lot of people because I was having so much fun. Because I didn't even work -- I mean, I did but I didn't. It happened when I wasn't looking," he said. "How did all this come about? It was so fast, whatever converged to carve my trajectory through this town, it was ridiculous."

At his lowest point, Farrell admitted he couldn't see the way forward. "I stepped off with great grace four years ago, and well, ended up on my knees fairly quick. I had a two-day re-evaluation, shall we say. But that was it."

It was finally the criticism of his professional performance that brought the Dubliner back down to earth. Savage reviews of Alexander made Colin (35) doubt his ability as an actor and he thought about giving it up.

"That was tough. I say tough, relative to a charmed life, but I'm not going to apologise for how much it affected me emotionally and psychologically," Farrell revealed.

However, the dad- of two admitted he sometimes hankers for his former wild lifestyle.

"Every now and then I miss a night of reckless abandon, but not often.

"Like I say, you're always missing something," he said.