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I cite irreconcilable differences between you and I, Kim, it's so over and I'm switching you off

WELL, well, well. After all our time and emotional investment, it seems Kim Kardashian's marriage is already over.

After just 72 days, she and NBA basketball player Kris Humphries are likely to part ways, citing irreconcilable differences.

It comes after their August wedding which saw the couple net $18m in endorsements, photos and stories in the process.

I shouldn't be surprised. She's the American Jodie Marsh, after all -- without the bulging biceps.

Kim and her sisters would do anything for a bit of media attention, and this hunger for publicity is just egged on by their showbiz manager mother. Hence the splashed-everywhere wedding.

Despite the OTT-glitz, I believed this marriage had some sort of foundation, however. I believed she was marrying well, maybe not forever, but certainly for the foreseeable future.

On August 30, full of anticipation, I trawled websites for a first glimpse of THE dress (or rather, the three dresses). I followed people on Twitter, just because they were invited to the wedding and I thought I'd get grade A insider info. I poured over celebrity magazines to check out the flowers, cake and celebrations. I kept track of the honeymoon and could even tell you what Lindsey Lohan wore to the big day.

But once the last piece of confetti had fluttered to the floor, the whole thing went south. Yesterday, she called time on being Mrs Humphries and issued a statement which quickly wound up on the website TMZ.com -- about as public you can go with a message.

In her separation statement Kim said: "I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision.

"I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don't work out as planned."

The reality star has left her soon-to-be ex-husband aghast with her divorce wishes, it seems. He wants to fight to save the marriage -- poor man -- while Kim has moved on and is Tweeting about her new Las Vegas boutique.

And in case anyone might think Kim might want some time away from the public eye to lick her wounds, it seems she'll be back before the cameras in the near future.

On the day her divorce papers were filed, Kim's broadcaster released an upbeat statement, saying: "The Kardashians have always been uniquely open with all aspects of their lives, from joyous events to intimate moments to heartbreaking transitions. E! will continue to share the fascinating and larger-than-life existence of this close-knit family."

Well, guess what Kim, I've had enough. I don't care what happens next, I'm switching off.

And while I'm at it, I never liked your wedding dress. You looked like a dumpy gnome in the strapless pouffy number. Do you not have any friends (sisters, perhaps?) who'd tell you that big chested women should NEVER wear strapless?

And the naff bling headband -- that didn't work either. Nor the fact that your mother looked like mutton dressed in Wang. I'd say Vera nearly had a heart attack. I hope poor Kris has better luck next time.

Meanwhile, I pity whoever Kim hooks up wiith next but whoever it is, I won't be watching.


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