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All about my mother: "it’s never straightforward"

In spite of my mother's idiosyncrasies, there is nothing she wouldn't do for me. Occasionally, these small acts of kindness are carried out with a melodramatic sigh, to demonstrate what an inconvenience they are. Mostly, like pretty much all mothers, she has spent her life running around after her offspring bringing them to swimming/the dentist etc. So when I'm asked to do something in return, I don't mind. As with everything about my mother, it's never straightforward, as per yesterday's phone call.

"Hiya love, are you coming up this week?" ("Up" makes me think I'm travelling from the wilds of the country to Dublin city, as opposed to from my flat in town.)

"Yep, midweek."

"Right so, will you do me a favour?"

"Sure."

"Will you pick up something in the chemist for me?"

"Okay, I'll run into Boots."

"No you have to go to Darren in the chemist down the road."

"Why?"

"Because he does all my prescriptions." This makes her sound like Liza Minnelli.

"But it's not a prescription, is it?"

"Well no, but he knows me."

"But he doesn't know me."

"I'll ring him and tell him to expect you."

This is turning into the mountain that was once the home of a small, furry underground-dwelling animal.

"So what do I have to get?"

"Paracetamol."

After all that, jeez.

"But I can get that anywhere. I think you can even buy it in Spar."

"No! Go to Darren."

She says this in an ominous end-of-the-world voice.

"Why?"

"There's a recession on, and he's very nice."


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