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7 days in the life of: Rosanna Davison

I hope to promote my ideals with clever, subliminal lingerie shoots

Sunday: This Hegelian zeitgeist totally rocks. Especially when it involves me and a saucy photo shoot.

Monday: I can't understand why anyone would think of eating meat. Especially when it's so easy to whip up a spinach soufflé on one's Aga.

Tuesday: My New Year's resolution is to promote the ideals of Rosannism through the pages of the Sindo's Life magazine with the cleverly subliminal use of non-ironic lingerie shoots.

Wednesday: Wonder if I could get my dream job: a gig on Xposé? Email TV3's Andrew Hanlon a video clip of me delivering a live review of one of my dad's gigs. My verdict? OMG, perfect.

Thursday: Andrew just got back to me, saying that they've no vacancies at the moment, but good luck with my future endeavours, etc. That's a sign. The Good Word of Rosannism will be spread via the medium of print.

Friday: Every guru needs a book that's sold five million copies worldwide and been endorsed by Oprah. All one needs to do is dig deep and repeat the same simplistic concept ad nauseam for 15 chapters. See The Secret.

Saturday: I haven't felt this excited about something since I read Darwin's The Origin of Species and realised that there was an explanation for why I haven't inherited dad's eyebrows. But I want this book to reflect the duality of man, so I'll call it: Rosie's Pair.

Or this is how it would be if we were Rosanna...