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7 Days in the life of: Johnny Ronan

Just for the record, I’m very rich and most definitely a free agent

Sunday: "It is with great regret that Johnny Ronan would like to announce that absolutely nothing untoward went on between himself and Rosanna Davison in Marrakech. He would like the media to respect his privacy at this time." Just today's press release.

Monday: Is Glen-Ro over? Is Ro-Ro on the brink of something beautiful? And just how do I do it? I won't be making any comment about any of the above, but my grin says it all.

Tuesday: It's disgraceful that Glenda's being hounded after the Rumble in Ranelagh and Rosanna is the talk of the town after Tea-by-the-Pool-Gate. And all because they got caught up with J-Ro. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Wednesday: "Johnny Ronan would like it to appear on the record that he is very rich. And that, to females aged 25 to 30, he is most definitely a free agent. That is all."

Thursday: Tonight'll be a good laugh. A few scoops, some Irish models and I'll the jet on standby. Just your average night in recession- hit Dublin.

Friday: Just woke up. Think I'm in Rio. Better check who's down by the pool.

Saturday: "Johnny Ronan would like to make it clear he is so loaded he can issue a private jet or a press release without so much as a by-your-leave."

Or this is how it would be if we were Johnny...