You don't fool me, Jessica, with your nonsense about pigging-out days
THE thinnest I ever was, as an adult, was 9st 3lbs. I am 5ft 8ins, and that weight made me look like a skinny malink melodeon legs.
I was 29, had just left a television studio, in which I had been filmed for 64 days and lived with 10 housemates. I effectively had been starved. Big Brother made me mucho slim, and I loved it for the time it lasted.
But my realistic weight ranges from 10-and-a-half stone (when I am exercising and eating well) to 11-and-a -half stone (when I am doing very little and loving my grub).
At the moment I have just built a new kitchen, so I am going through as many Jamie Oliver recipes as possible, and that eleven-and-a-half stone is struggling to remain that way.
Yummy
Women and their weight is one of life's connundrums. We get fit, we eat well, we lose weight. We let it slip slightly, we exercise less, we eat yummy bold food, the pounds slip on. And with our struggle, we stupidly look at the A-list celebs to see what they do to keep thin. We read about crazy diets, obsessive personal training and over the top workouts. Those women who look a million dollars are different from us, and that's just the way it is.
A bit of advice for the constant skinny malink melodeon leg celebs -- when you pretend that you are having a reckless day of indulgence, honestly -- don't bother. Don't tell us about your 'crazy pigging-out days'. We're not interested.
Because, Jessica Biel, when I hear that after Total Recall filming you ate an entire bucket of fried chicken, I want to ring you up and shout down the phone, 'Whooop de bleedin do'.
One bucket of fried chicken, and you try to tell us that you too are normal. Yet in every photo you are in, you look amazing, slim, sexy, svelte, incredibly healthy, unbelieveably attractive.
Freak
So please just be honest with us, and no need to pretend that you gorge like us mere mortals. I know that you are a fitness freak (you have told us) and I reckon that missing an exercise session is like losing a limb.
I hope to get back to 10-and-a-half stone soon.
And I know the secret to this -- get my face out of the fridge and my bottom off the couch. I know that I am a million miles away from the fit celebs, I accept that. I wish they would accept that too, and not try to be like the rest us...
