Saturday 16 December 2017

Slam the brakes on self-sabotage

with Emily Hurley-wilkinson

I DON'T have enough motivation. That's too difficult. I can't do that. If I try I'll fail anyway. I won't be successful. I'm too shy. It's too late. I'm too old. Sound familiar? These self confidence destroying statements could be the key reason that you have failed to achieve your goals in 2011 and, as you plan for 2012, you need to know that as long as you carry around beliefs like these you will sabotage your chance of achieving any new goals for the year ahead.

What's worse is that we usually do not recognise that it's even happening to us as most of our thoughts and actions are automatic, and so instead we attribute our lack of achievement to inadequacy.

It's a 'that's just the way it is' type thinking!

Invariably, this strengthens these negative self-concepts and so we get caught up in a self-defeating cycle that can be very difficult to break!

Self-sabotage is a combination of thoughts, feelings and actions that act as barriers to our success by working against our own self interests.

It's when we consciously want something but unconsciously we make sure we don't get it!

Some of the most common methods of selfSabotage include a lack of self-belief. This is quite possibly the most prevalent method of all. Like all others, it is also a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The less you believe in yourself the less likely you are to take on new challenges and the more likely you are to believe you are unworthy of better things.

Blaming is another form of self-sabotage.

Perhaps you believe that your circumstances are not your fault and whilst this may be true to a point blaming will leave you feeling powerless.

Ultimately, you are the only person who has the ability to change your situation.

When you begin to take responsibility you feel better about yourself and more in control of your life.

How many times do you repeatedly put things off ? Procrastination is a very popular form of self-sabotage. 'The time isn't right' or 'I don't have enough time'.

Or perhaps you overcommit? Saying yes to everything until you feel overwhelmed!

This style of self-sabotage keeps you from achieving your 'real' goals (the ones that would bring you the most fulfilment if you were brave enough to pursue them) by distracting you with a range of minor activities.

Can you see why some people never reach their full potential?

The good news is that once you become aware of how you are sabotaging yourself you are half way there!

Take a few minutes now and write down all the negative beliefs that you have about yourself. Then begin questioning how valid each one is.

By questioning these thoughts and replacing them with more accurate, empowering ones you will automatically weaken their grip on you and with patience and determination you will begin to reap the rewards.

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