Friday 24 November 2017

A passionate affair with all things 'for sale'

with Yvonne Joye

"I LOVE clothes. I do. But it would be better if I didn't because then it would take care of my other problem – shopping!

Now, you may well ask why shopping would be considered something to be taken care of, I mean, it's not like shopping is some huge vice, It doesn't harm your health, it doesn't involve pulling an all-nighter (unless you are a die-hard for those ridiculously timed sales) and it is an activity that neither maims nor harms anyone (unless you are a die-hard for those ridiculously timed sales and someone just got in before you and bought what you were staying up all night to buy!).

Indeed shopping is as far from a closet secret as it gets (pun intended). Look at the amount of television programmes dedicated to it, the magazines that owe their existence to it and then there are those who have made their fortune by simply stepping out in a particularly inspired purchase.

You see, shopping is such an altogether pleasant affair – for only two euro you can get three hours of undiluted, access all areas, uninterrupted surveillance of all things beautiful. Of course, if you decide to leave the car at home, then it all comes for free! But, I really wouldn't recommend this, as the burden of your purchases might well have the adverse effect of you having to depart prematurely and no one with an ounce of passion for shopping ever wants that to happen!

No, as hobbies go, shopping really is unique in its accessibility and conduciveness and I must credit all the great fashion houses for facilitating my indulgence and for having an amazing knack for knowing what I need and want long before I even know myself.

The tricky part comes however in trying to organise a shopping trip. To earn an afternoon in my ideal world merits a feast of arrangements that owns a zeal that should only have a home in the marital bed!

That said, my shopping habits have changed with the times. In the heady days everything went on the credit card. God, it was great. That's gone now – call it my own personal contribution to the recession (as opposed to the contribution the recession has taken from me). All credit cards have been cancelled. You see, for all my folly, superficiality and absorption in the material world, I recognise the beast within and in an economy that can no longer sustain the cashflow, I can see through the clothes racks to the potential mire into which one can sink and with a little rope I can just see myself cannon-balling in!.

I wish I could grow out of this shopping thing but I can't. I can still be earthy, philosophical and intellectually engaging but to deny my love of all things 'for sale' would be akin to denying my being, my essence and my very makeup, speaking of which… but then that is another story altogether."

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