Tuesday 24 October 2017

Better to lose the ring than the man

Here's the thing - I don't believe the ring is in the pudding.

Yvonne Joye

MY husband isn't a boastful guy - never has been and I can't imagine that he ever will be. However, at the risk of contradicting myself in one fell swoop, he did own one teeny weeny brag.

He used to like to tell people that since the day his wedding ring was placed on his finger (by yours truly), it has not gone past that finger's knuckle. Seeing as we are six months off our 20 year wedding anniversary, I think it is fair to say that this so-called brag was in essence more akin to an achievement.

Anyway, enough of the semantics because as it turns out the boast/brag/achievement no longer applies - the so-and-so lost the ring last weekend. Now I don't intend to be disparaging in any way – he is a good guy. Furthermore, I am hardly in a position to point the finger seeing as what he was doing when he 'misplaced' it; namely making this year's Christmas pudding!

You see, I am married to one of those 'new-age' kinda guys, who has absolutely no issue whatsoever in getting down and dirty with a bowl of fruit and a cup of flour. He doesn't even need a sous-chef i.e. me to do the boring stuff. No, he likes to do it all himself.

Such is this independence that even the whisk and wooden spoon do not see the light of day. As far as he is concerned, his own hands work the magic (for those of you getting notions, we are still talking about the Christmas pudding here). And therein lies the crux of the matter. According to his good self it was as he was kneading the mixture that the ring came off. Plausible explanation and at his insistence, the only explanation! Think about it – we may just have produced the first ever Christmas barm brack!

But here's the thing, I don't believe the ring is in the pudding. I believe that he believes it's in the pudding; but I don't. You see I conducted a solo covert forensic analysis of the uncooked mixture prior to steaming and there was no sign of the ring. If you like, the proof was not in the pudding! But I am going to let sleeping dogs lie and gold bands be for two reasons: One, it might now mean the kids will actually eat the thing this year seeing as it holds all the mystery and intrigue of Halloween fare and, two, it saves me having to buy my lovely new age man a lovely new wedding ring which wouldn't suit me or my purse one bit seeing as I have already purchased him his Christmas gift. And if he is disappointed as he works his way through his creation on Christmas day, I won't be. It's only a ring and at the risk of coming across all Christmassy and sentimental, I would really much rather lose the ring than the man!