Tuesday 16 January 2018

Sisyphean battles with leaves and myself

Hoovering leaves is very satisfying
Hoovering leaves is very satisfying
Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

I think I've reached some kind of tipping point. I think there may be no going back from here. Last weekend I went to one of those industrial estate-style shopping centres on the outskirts of town. I mean one of those shopping centres that aren't really fun. All the shops were big and many of them were furniture-based. There were a few fast food places. But you know what I mean. You wouldn't be going there for a promenade.

I took the family, because we needed to check out a table or something while we were out there, and apparently you can't leave a seven and nine-year old home alone. My main mission was a leaf hoover. In fact it was a leaf blower, but one that also did hoovering. Though I don't see why you would be blowing them around when you could just hoover them up. The younger child was asleep by the time we got there so we let her and her mother have some quality time in the car while me and the young one went off on the mission. It was a big day for Daddy. My first piece of garden equipment. My first and last ideally. I thought I had avoided the need for any machinery by choosing to carpet the back garden with the fake grass. But when you choose life in the leafy suburbs, leaves are part of the deal. The mother says the trees are the next big thing. She thinks they are taking over. She says mark her words it'll become a thing. In fairness she's usually right. So in we went. I was obviously going to go for the Black & Decker. Not being in the loop on garden equipment, I seem to remember that Black & Decker were the big reliable name in the sector. We trusted them because they had ads.

"Blackanddeckerblackanddeckerblackanddecker." So I was prepared to pay the slight premium for the brand I knew. But the Flymo was on sale and the nice young lad told me it was a good one. And they all seem to have the same power - 3,000. That could be watts or volts or some measurement of suction. You're asking the wrong man.

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