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Sinead Ryan: 'Eating €10,000 may be a hard egg to swallow'

 

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'I really don’t like chocolate if it also contains fondant goo, so I’m unlikely to be caught out by Cadbury’s latest wheeze.'

'I really don’t like chocolate if it also contains fondant goo, so I’m unlikely to be caught out by Cadbury’s latest wheeze.'

'I really don’t like chocolate if it also contains fondant goo, so I’m unlikely to be caught out by Cadbury’s latest wheeze.'

It's the second week of January so, naturally, the supermarkets are already full of Easter eggs. I'm not (so sue me), a big chocolate fan. I even have some Roses left in a tin where the Christmas tree once stood, which is possibly a jailing offence.

I really don't like the stuff if it also contains fondant goo, so I'm unlikely to be caught out by Cadbury's latest wheeze, which is the random placement of 1,000 'white' Creme Eggs in shops, cunningly disguised among the normal milk chocolate ones but if found, could land the buyer with up to €10,000 in prizes. Clever. Although possibly not thought through sufficiently.

If someone doesn't actually realise there's a promotion on and snarfs the whole egg assuming it's a bit like the times Magnum or Galaxy take the notion to launch a new treat on an unsuspecting public, only to be told they've just swallowed 10 grand, imagine the diverting attempts in trying to, eh, convince the company they found the coveted prize.

Mondelez, which owns Cadbury, has been busy stock-piling ingredients ahead of Brexit, we're told. It's great to see corporate foresight while politicians fumble in response. After all, hard or soft landing, we're gonna need sugar to get us through it, right?

Brexit could force us to actually cook for dinner

I'm sure he's not a chocoholic, but it's come to something when the Taoiseach has to issue a statement clarifying there won't be food shortages in the event of a hard Brexit.

"Nobody will go hungry," he assured us. He means in Ireland, obviously. The Brits will have to fend for themselves, and good luck to them. However, when pressed, Leo added that supermarkets could possibly go short of ready meals and other pre-packaged processed foods as many of these come from massive warehouses operations in the UK whose transit may be affected.

Would it be any harm? Dry January will be long over and all the new year resolutions will have long been filed into the memory bank of terrible ideas by March, so perhaps not being able to buy plastic chicken vindaloo for which no chicken ever lived a good life, nor a geographically confused Hawaiian Cajun pizza, would be a good thing.

It could even become new Government policy, especially considering the sugar tax has been a complete flop. If they're clever, they'll make it extra difficult at ports to allow the stuff past the Border and blame it on Brexit, all the while forcing us to actually cook Irish grown ingredients for dinner.

Although knowing our quirkiness for, eh, not liking being told what we can and can't buy, it would most likely lead to marches outside the Dáil by pudgy protesters. We'll need to import bigger 'gilets jaunes'.

Repossession happy endings a thing of fiction

It's an all too familiar story, sadly. A man at the end of his tether issued with a repossession order on the lovely home that has been in his family for generations, slapped ceremoniously on his front door by an unfeeling, uncaring bank, who even sent along lawyers to threaten him for payment. The man's tearful explanation of being recently widowed and with three wide-eyed children about to be made homeless, cut no ice with the beastly bankers.

His job, ironically with the same bank, would now be in jeopardy, he added mournfully. Tragedy piled upon sadness, and a situation only a magical intervention can save.

Still. 'Mary Poppins Returns' also had lots of song and dance action and I loved it. As Oscar Wilde once wryly observed, "The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means."

Irish Independent