Roddy Doyle's Charlie Savage: The greatest show on earth
Officially, according to my birth cert, I'm well into my 60s. In fact, I'm just less than 16. Because, like every other football lover, I measure my age in four-year instalments - that is, the gaps between the World Cups.
I know, the World Cup isn't what it used to be and Ireland won't be there this time, battling the midgies in Siberia or whatever Russian paradise we'd have ended up in.
Every time the World Cup comes around I tell myself and everyone else who'll listen that I'm not really bothered this time. But then I end up colonising the couch for the month. I survive - actually, I thrive - on Bovril and bananas, and I watch everything. RTÉ shows all the matches and I'm with them all the way. The only exercise I get is shouting at the telly.