Tell queen to put off her pricey visit
I have a favour to ask of all Irish citizens. Would you all please drop a note to the queen of England and ask her to stay where she is for the unforeseen future. We really can't afford her pending visit. To bring her here would cost in the region of €8m and sure we don't have 8c never mind €8m.
Anyhow, I feel she'll be relieved at not having to make the trip. With the big wedding on the horizon I'm sure she'll be minding the pennies herself. We'll have her over when things improve, when the Celtic Tiger roams our land once more, but be sure to advise her not to hold her breath.
Phyl Mhic Oscair
Baile atha Cliath 4