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Nero worship in the new republic

• In response to Mr O'Neill's letter regarding Mr Haughey's similarity to 'little boots' Caligula, I was surprised to see a man of undoubted education, lament the fact that our current 'leaders' have not turned to the classical world for inspiration.

In an effort to clear up this misnomer and bring some peace to Mr O'Neill, might I humbly suggest he read the history of another famous emperor, Nero.

This particular emperor famously fiddled while Rome burned. If we look at our evergreen Taoiseach Enda Kenny's response to an irate shopper in Athlone, we begin to see the Nero effect in full swing.

The irate shopper informed 'Nero' that he had to emigrate in 1958. Our 'Nero' replied "Good". With this response he confirmed my suspicions . . . all you have to do is rewrite the saying along these lines -- Kenny said "good" while our constitution and our inherent rights were burning. I hope that this gives hope to Mr O'Neill.

One further point, if I may, in response to a letter of last week that named six public figures from the No camp as a reason to vote Yes. Might I humbly suggest this six-letter anagram as a reason to vote No -- TIBEER.

For all readers who have a problem with anagrams, or deciding how to vote, I offer this clue. If a saint gave this person €3,000 a week to vote Yes, then that saint would be called 'Luke'. That's the problem with an interest in history -- it doesn't let you forget.

I'm off down to a music shop to buy 'Nero' new strings, now that he's deemed safe for public consumption again, I have a feeling he's going to play that fiddle till his fingers burn.

As anyone, other than our incumbent Environment Minister Phil Hogan knows, heat causes expansion and fracturing.

Mr Hogan, on the other hand, seems to think boiling water can crush rock. Perhaps Mr O'Neill could research an emperor who was noted for his stupidity, then again maybe not. I'd hate to see our "get a life"; "have a holiday" and "water is viscous enough for hydraulic pressure" ministers fighting over the title.

No Mr O'Neill, as a farmer, I think it might be better to feed their egos individually, the rest might get jealous and stop listening to 'Nero's' playing.

Dermot Ryan
Athenry, Co Galway

Irish Independent