| 19.1°C Dublin

Just the job

• We have all indulged ourselves in hounding disgraced politicians. It is now time to think of them more caringly and provide support for them in pursuing a new way of life.

I would like to make a start by suggesting appropriate new jobs that could be funded by the State and available exclusively to politicians who have succumbed to human weakness. I believe that there is some funding available from the Charles Haughey Foundation for the preservation of honesty and decency in politics.

The following is just a small selection from the numerous possibilities:

• Worker in a disused gold mine.

• Designer of more secure brown envelopes.

• Panning for silver on new building developments.

• Bookie at the donkey races to encourage small wins.

• Spiritual director to property developers.

• Rezoning land consultant. l Adviser on how to account for mysterious acquisitions of wealth.

• Counsellor in shame-avoidance techniques.

Philip O'Neill
Oxford, UK

Irish Independent