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I've had my Phil

• Being an avid reader of recent history, I have always wondered how it must have felt to have lived in economic Nazi Germany. Well Wunderbar! My curiosity has been answered. Every time I turn around, the blue shirts want me to empty my pockets for Berlin.

Danke Schoen, Herr Kenny und co. Now I can put the history books to bed. I'm just waiting now for the order to be implemented in Operation 'Wie viel Geld haben Sie?' ('How much money do you have?'). I expect to be held upside down by my ankles whilst being frisked for money on my person. I have buried the child's piggy bank, and taught him to say: "Ich habe nichts" (I have nothing).

Kaiser Phil Hogan will enforce the law, and has ways of making you pay. This is vital for our fatherland to continue its march towards Lebensraum -- living space for the poverty stricken. Who cares if food becomes a luxury item? So long as the Government and banks can enjoy the lifestyle they have become accustomed to. I am more then happy to say: "Ireland Ich liebe dich".

Anthony Woods
Ennis, Co Clare

Irish Independent