I want to surrender. The sophisticated logic and subtle reasoning of the EU/ECB/IMF troika has finally brought me to my senses. I have finally accepted the complex nature of our financial peril.
The bit about explosions on the high street clinched it for me. And in case any of you thickos haven't got it yet, don't worry, you are not to blame for your ignorance, you just haven't been as exposed to enough of the ''it's complicated, dire consequences, bombs, terrorism imagery'' logic yet. You see, it is indeed complicated; this ''manufacture of complications'' business. The starting point for manufacturing illusions of complexity often provides the greatest challenge, that being, in our case, that it isn't complicated at all. In fact, it's very simple; big people are dumping on little people.
But this is where the clever buck stuff comes in. When we were thrust into disbelief about the bank guarantee in September 2008, we were told that there would be no cash in the machines, and that if we were not careful, entering our pin number into an ATM would trigger a thermonuclear explosion, taking out busloads of schoolchildren and kittens that would happen to be passing on their way to a vulnerable persons'/creatures' conference.
I might have exaggerated that last bit, but you get the point. Good manufacture of complexity involves pushing as many emotive buttons in the minds of the gullible as possible. That's how they got me in the end.
I like walking down the high street. The last thing I want is to be blown to pieces. The funny thing is, I have a nagging feeling that the EEC was founded to put a stop to big countr-ies picking on little coun-tries, and indeed, to speci- fically stop big countries using gun and bomb talk to control little ones.
But don't mind me, I'm just having a little relapse, I'll be okay after another troika visit, I'm becoming dependent on the sound of those expensive boots.