Sir -- May I put forward a hopeful suggestion. Two letter pages -- one for moaning and kick- the-cat exercises, the other only for people who believe in prosperity and encouraging news -- would increase your readership significantly.
There is a good chance that the cat might be spared and that the good news page would become the popular one; your paper will be responsible for a countrywide upsurge in positive thinking. The law of attraction claims that positive thoughts attract more reasons to be happy. On the other hand, misery attracts further misery.
If you take me seriously, your paper would be on the verge of solving Brian Cowen's problems -- the poor man should welcome all the help he can get.