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FG's unspeakable U-turn on our national language

•I was very disappointed when FG reneged on their promise to stop forcing Irish on our school children. I read in your paper that the pressure came to bear to prompt the backtracking so that some could continue to make a shilling on the city kids who are sent to the Gaeltacht every summer.

I do understand that these Irish speakers are the true carriers of Ireland's culture and the English-speaking taxpayers in Dublin are worthless apart from their ability to be taxed. I fully support this Taliban-style approach of imposing the values of the wise on the ignorant many but I fear the young kids learning Irish now may not be able to earn enough taxes to keep this wondrous process alive.

I'd therefore rather my kids learn something useful like applied maths or German.

The only problem is FG might lose a by-election if they resist the pressure. I have a solution to this problem. The Catholic Church knew how to milk an empire as anyone who has ever visited Rome knows. We should learn from their practices and introduce indulgences.

This would mean that parents could purchase an indulgence from the Department of Education, which would mean that their child would not be made suffer Irish.

The money could then be paid out to special interest groups in the Gaeltacht so that these worthy people can continue to carry their culture forwards (or backwards).

The Taliban gave their own police force power to impose sharia law, so we could have people roaming the Gaeltacht with large sticks beating people caught speaking Irish badly or not dressing like Peig Sayers, our blessed prophet. Great is her mercy and blessed are her many words and tales of misery and suffering.

I enjoyed many beatings myself over the modh coinniollach and it strengthened my feelings about our culture.

My proposal is to sell the indulgences openly to any one who wants to buy them

G G Dalton
Rathmines, Dublin

Irish Independent