•A recent visit to Ireland proved most confusing. Our hire car was towed away outside Terminal 2 'just' because I left it there for a few minutes . . . what's happened to the easy-going Irish approach to everything from paying your tax to insuring your car?
Then there's the race for the Aras. It appears that in order to have any chance of being elected you have to have a dodgy past, which, admittedly, most Irish politicians manage quite comfortably. Parking outside the airport terminal or singing like Dana is not what I am referring to, unfortunately . . . no, much stronger stuff is required to get the electorate's support.
The language has also changed: NAMA this and NAMA that. At first I thought a new religious wave had swept the country as I mistook NAMA for manna . . . I was wrong and NAMA was not sent from heaven. I'm considering writing to the state body suggesting that it takes over the two-bed apartment we were foolish enough to buy back in 2005!
It's not the 50pc reduction in value I'm referring to which we all should have foreseen; no, it's the appalling build quality. How anyone calling themselves builders could have put up something with so many gaps and cracks is beyond me. The building seems to be held together by silicone, and I fear that were I to remove a piece of skirting board, the whole structure would collapse.
Now it's back to civilisation in the form of boring old Denmark, where tax inspectors do not evolve into property developers, local builders into golf club owners and terrorist leaders into presidential candidates.
I will miss Ireland.
Knud Juul Jensen