Saturday 17 March 2018

Banks can't even do basics

Sir -- Yesterday I went in to my local bank to pay my mortgage and my overdraft bills. This is how I have to do it since I lost my job two years ago and my bank accounts were liquidated. I collect the children's allowance and then put it all in the express lodgement box with the appropriate dockets and the bank manager is happy for another month.

As I say, yesterday I went in to pay my monthly dues but found a very strange state of affairs inside the bank. Immediately inside the door, to the left, was the woman from a local off-licence with a display of bottled European beers. I skirted around her but came face-to-face with a large woman with a painted face, in huge multi-coloured bloomers, blowing up balloons. I shimmied quickly to the right heading for where I knew the express lodgement box to be but almost tumbled straight over a little man with a stained-glass display hunched over his low table. I caught my balance and arrived at the bench where the express lodgement slips are kept but there were no slips there. There were toffees and assorted chocolates though. Suddenly I heard a voice, asking: "Can I help you sir?" I spun around, expecting to see a juggling midget or Olli Rehn in a kangaroo suit -- but it was a bank clerk, smiling at me. I told her that I just wanted to make an express lodgement. She told me that that service didn't exist anymore and that I would have to queue for the cashier.

She pointed to the queue of between 15 and 20 customers that I had failed to notice in the midst of the circus.

Please sign in or register with for free access to Opinions.

Sign In

Today's news headlines, directly to your inbox every morning.

Don't Miss