Sunday 18 March 2018

Apologies to my home intruder

After reading the article by Susan Daly about intruders (Irish Independent, July 24), I feel I must apologise to my last uninvited visitor, even at this late remove, for not following the correct procedures.

Firstly, though, may I congratulate you, my housebreaker friend, on your lithe and supple agility which enabled you to gain entry through a window which my cat would have found difficulty in accessing. Fair play to you.

Now, I hope you excused the general untidiness of the place -- if I had known that you were intending to pay a visit, I would have made a bit of an effort, and this, in turn, would have prevented you from falling over a heap of magazines, thus alerting me to your presence.

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