Journalists

Cardinal Zuckerberg has been caught out 

Mostly, journalism is about day-to-day stuff. Sometimes it's about the big things. An example of the latter was the Boston Globe's 2001 campaign on child sexual abuse.

Gene Kerrigan: The favour that Leo did(n't) do for Donald 

This Doonbeg thing, it's Irish politics in a nutshell. The ineptitude, the deceit, the two-faced playacting, how the rules are just for the little people...

Welcome, folks, to the Wild Varadkar Way 

You know how it feels when you see a Magnum ice-cream? Probably you think - oooh, nice, but I shouldn't. Probably, we all feel something like that about all ice-cream.

Beware the Twitter Guardians of Truth 

Inevitably, when The Irish Times poll showed Leo Varadkar hitting 60pc approval, the alternative media struck back.

'Absurd, pathetic and occasionally relevant, the tribunal was a car crash' 

We were running. All of us were confused - lawyers, gardai, journalists, members of the public - we didn't know which way to run.

There's no mystery about hospital chaos 

Do we really have to face yet another year pretending we don't know what's wrong with the hospitals? Because that's what we're doing now - we're pretending we don't know what's wrong.

Twelve heroes and one monstrous creation 

These days, we've got used to the end-of-year arrival of a flock of books that assess political and current affairs. They're an alternative to the incessant torrent of news.

Can't fix the problem? Fix the statistics 

It should have been a good week for Fine Gael. The Brexit carry-on gave Varadkar a chance to look good by comparison with the clowns who currently govern the UK.

Why Leo needs to find a new line of work 

You can't, as Sir Michael Jagger used to sing, always get what you want. Last week, a chap with illusions that he has a talent for burglary was sentenced to three years, at Trim Circuit Court.

There really should be laws against this 

The crime, the corruption and the social evils are coming at us in waves. And the very expensive defences we have in place to protect us have turned out to be bugger all use.

Informed sources reveal that Varadkar has put himself in a spin 

Last Wednesday, Leo Varadkar publicly rejected responsibility for those paid to speak anonymously on behalf of his Government. These "spin doctors" and their mouthpieces, paid agents of the Government, can now tell the media any nonsense they want to spread, with no ministerial responsibility for their actions.

From storms to Stormont, it's all spin to Leo 

There are good things and bad things about the Belfast Agreement, but anyone treating it as a political poker chip is gambling with other people's blood. And that seems to be what went on last week.

You've heard of the 'Deep State' - now meet the 'Shallow State' 

You've heard of the "Deep State"? It's an allegedly sinister hidden state-within-the-state, up to all sorts of carry-on. Intelligence agencies, groups of higher civil servants - that kind of thing.

An open and largely shut case of deception 

Credit where credit is due. It's uplifting when politicians do what they say they'll do. It's worthy of note when the Taoiseach, for instance, recognises the dreadful plight of children in pain and does something about it.

Here's to the new good old, bad old days 

Remember the good old days? Remember when Dublin councillors wore a groove in the O'Connell Street pavement as they left their meetings and waddled around the corner to Conway's pub to collect their backhanders?

Gene Kerrigan: Revelations that the guards dreamt up an extra half a million breath tests won't have surprised many 

We were told last week that the guards have created another half-million imaginary breath tests. That's "unbelievable", said minister Denis Naughten.

Pity the hapless, misunderstood Taoiseach 

In May 1921, with the State not yet formed, WT Cosgrave, Minister for Local Government, 1916 veteran, future head of Government and one of the founders of Fine Gael, wrote about the poorest of our nation: "They have no ideas whatsoever of civic responsibilities. As a rule their highest aim is to live at the expense of the ratepayers. Consequently, it would be a decided gain if they all took it into their heads to emigrate."

Are bad times over, or is the sequel here? 

When it comes to grand announcements on the state of the nation, and predictions about economic recovery, some of us are inclined towards scepticism.

Nothing to offer but more years of failure 

Just six years ago, people in their early 30s made up the largest group within the homeless. It's a horrible way to have to live, but most adults can at least try to steel themselves against the dread that envelops such a life.

Unfortunately, we need to talk about Kevin 

The low point in last week's Kevin Myers circus was, for me, the moment he went on BBC Radio 5. Myers climbed down into the hole he'd dug for himself, took out his trusty shovel of contorted rhetoric and proceeded to dig.

After 20 years in the frame, where is the evidence against Ian Bailey? 

To spare his blushes, we'll call the man Paddy Murphy, though that's not his name. On February 20, 1997, he and his partner and their three-year old son approached Kealfadda Bridge, in West Cork.

Gene Kerrigan: Welcome to the Republic of Opportunism 

Heaney is handy. If you're a political leader with a featherweight image, and you need some gravitas, it helps to flick through a volume of Seamus Heaney's poetry.

Let's establish who caused this humiliation 

For some time, humiliation has been part of the job description for members of the Irish establishment. The pay is still good, and you still get to wag your finger at the common herd, but the position has lost its moral swagger. Because they know that we all know what's going on. The remarkable thing is the extent to which the Irish establishment brought itself into disrepute.

Politics? We really don't know the half of it 

There are times when the mask slips, and this is one of them. While Fine Gael and Fianna Fail were squabbling over the appointment of a judge, they disclosed some rather startling things we're really not supposed to know.

Lucky are we who have such Great Men 

May God forgive me for what I'm about to inflict on you, but in a moment it will be necessary to replicate some praise for our new Taoiseach, Leo Varadkar. It won't take long and you might even enjoy it, in a quirky, masochistic sort of way.

Politics isn't going back into its old box now 

It's hard to know who has looked more ridiculous since the results of the UK general election started coming in. There's great fun to be had watching shocked Tories circling one another, deciding which back to stab first.

Stuck in a loop of the 'same old, same old' 

It'll be all right, won't it? Eventually? Let's say five years from now, we won't be having one crisis after another in basic services, will we?

A major prosecution was left in the hands of an inexperienced solicitor 

When Sean FitzPatrick walked free of the charges against him, wild allegations flew.

Is this really the best Fine Gael can offer? 

Ok, complete the following sentence: "I'm really glad Leo Varadkar was Minister for Transport from 2011 to 2014, because otherwise . . ." Take your time. Search your memory.

Gene Kerrigan: Is he gone yet? Who's up next? Oh, him? 

For politicians in heat, words are dust to be thrown in the eyes of others, while they position themselves for victory. And during any election, truth is a handicap. So, never mind what they say, watch what they do.

The good, the bad and the irresponsible 

Siobhan Phillips was a vulnerable woman. In October 2015, Garda Tony Golden was murdered trying to protect her. Dara Quigley was a vulnerable woman. A month ago, when she was at a very low ebb, utterly defenceless, a video of her plight somehow emerged from Garda custody. It was displayed for the world to see.

Gene Kerrigan: It's now a standing, thinking, praying Dail 

Yesterday, Enda Kenny's second government was a year in office. And, about two weeks ago, Enda finally managed to beat John A Costello's record and become the longest-serving Fine Gael Taoiseach.

Do it for Leo's sake, rat out your neighbour 

Last Friday afternoon, I went online to the Department of Social Protection's website - welfare.ie. There, I found the fraud tip-off page. A glaring red warning sign said there are criminals "cheating welfare". It says that last year the department saved €500m "thanks to people like you".

Gene Kerrigan: We heard the fake news today - oh boy 

You will not be surprised to hear that in 1968 Fianna Fail tried to pull a fast one. At any given time on the calendar, since 1926, the chances were that FF was trying something on.

What seems to be the problem, Sergeant? 

Want to hear about another Garda scandal? It features a petty criminal we'll call Paddy. And it tells us why and how the Garda crisis just gets worse, with no serious effort at reform.

Dress properly when wrecking the country 

There's a bit of a political fight coming up. On the face of it, it's such a stupid issue that no sentient creature should have to spend more than three seconds thinking about it.

Kenny's 'brave lecture' to Trump wasn't brave, or even a lecture 

Did the Irish media keep people ignorant of a brave lecture on immigration that Enda Kenny delivered to Donald Trump in Washington?

Gene Kerrigan: OK, then, let's settle for Leprechaun Politics 

Enda goes to Washington and Trump says: "You know how Farage is my messenger boy in the UK? I want you to be my messenger boy in the EU - are ya up to that?"

Gene Kerrigan: They knew about the babies for 90 years 

The evidence is there, beyond any doubt: they knew from August 1927 that the babies were dying at a terrible rate. And they were cool with that.

Kenny's visit to President Grope could have him shaking all over 

Enda Kenny faces a small but potentially embarrassing predicament. And no one dares mention it. Let's do so.

No, Simon, democracy is not all about you 

Talk about bad timing. There are important things happening - real moves within the machinery of democracy.

The legends of sleepy, hollow party leaders 

Political journalism has of late entered a fog of fantasy thicker than any I can remember.

Those sleeping dogs, they just might bite 

Here's a quote from the current political debate about the Garda whistleblower scandal. It's from Martin Heydon, no less - the chair of the Fine Gael Parliamentary Party.

Did dark forces try to silence Garda McCabe? 

Could happen, I suppose. You're copying and pasting material within a child abuse file - we're not sure why that was happening, but let's see where this goes.

Enda puckers up, while Donald bends over 

You'd almost feel sorry for Enda Kenny. If he bends to kiss the ample hindquarters of Donald Trump, we'll sneer at him.

Another crisis, another minister dodging it 

Poor Shane Ross. In the week to come, Fianna Fail is about to get terribly concerned about the state of Bus Eireann.

Gene Kerrigan: It's been a hard right turn for the worse 

We're told we're now in a "post-truth society", where facts don't matter. You promote your politics through bluster and lies, and when you're caught lying you deny you lied and immediately repeat the lie.

Gene Kerrigan: Freeze them out of it, said the honest man 

It's all connected. They're reported separately, in different parts of the media - news pages, political analysis, business pages, court reports, property pages - but it's all connected.

Simon is stuck on a trolley going nowhere 

It's hard to feel sympathy for Simon Harris, but it was unavoidable last week. There's something pitiful in the sight of a person of high office in obvious panic.

In a mixed-up world, what would Jesus do? 

Suppose Jesus Christ came back. How would that work out in today's Ireland?

Gene Kerrigan: Cod-scientific gloss on market won't wash 

So, it was a good week for Simon Coveney, yeah? And a bad week for Leo Varadkar? Simon's edged ahead of Leo as the would-be FG leader, huh?

Murder, he said, with not a bother on him 

Last week, Fine Gael TD Alan Farrell smeared two Sinn Fein TDs, under Dail privilege. He did this by associating them with murder.

Gene Kerrigan: Time to say thanks to the 'sinister fringe' 

In recent days, many from the political and social gentry have been agonising about Irish Water. We've heard what TDs and ministers have to say. Academics and other experts, lowly columnists and startlingly well-paid broadcasters have all had their turn.

Oh, what fun we had, with homelessness 

This happened last Thursday. It's on the official record of the Dail - page 15, for November 24, 2016 Leaders' Questions. If you can stomach it. You think they've learned, you hope they've learned, and then you look at what's happening - and you know that for them it's not about achieving things; it's about keeping the show going.

Gene Kerrigan: Sexist Trump's sickly land of grope 'n glory 

What will President Donald Trump do after he's inaugurated on January 20? Rhetoric aside, what will the American right, now in total control of the Presidency and Congress, actually do now that they're sweeping into power?

'Obama is Muslim and Clinton eats children' 

After what happened last Friday, it's tempting to conclude that it doesn't matter who wins the election on Tuesday, to become the President of what Americans insist is the Greatest Country in the World.

Curtain up on the Enda-Leo-Simon Show 

We who work in the media love political set pieces. And we're already into the one that's going to entertain us for weeks, if not months: the change of party leader.

Gene Kerrigan: The tax laws are now a la carte, for some 

Last Thursday the Government crossed a line. It let us know that certain crimes are tolerable. It did so almost casually, with no hint of shame. The Fianna Fail "opposition" went along with its Fine Gael partners. As did the "independent" ministers. This State has chosen to engage respectfully with criminals. Not with all who break the law, but with a chosen few.

Things fall apart, the centre remains smug 

Well, they're certainly not over-modest, you can say that about our current leaders. Last week, two of them, Paschal Donohoe and Michael McGrath, were so overcome with their own sense of mission that they felt the need to portray themselves as saviours of the nation.

Sword of Justice needs to be sharpened 

It's now five months since we found out that the Garda Commissioner, Noirin O'Sullivan, made a very serious allegation against whistleblower Sgt Maurice McCabe.

Gene Kerrigan: Enda clings on, while Leo and Simon try on various costumes to impress the punters 

These days, to be an intelligent supporter of Fine Gael is to experience a high degree of embarrassment. The level of political competence, whether among the old heads or the new, ranges from the comic to the farcical.

Ten years of failure is more than enough 

They've been buggering around with the A&E debacle since Mary Harney announced a "national emergency" in 2006. Ten whole years ago.

Gene Kerrigan: 'Hidden Ireland' and the things we're not supposed to see 

Once upon a long, long time ago, I attended a court case in which a bank sued a businessman. The man hadn't paid off a term loan. Interest had pushed the debt up to £36,000 and the man wasn't happy with the interest he'd been charged.

Gene Kerrigan: We're with you, Comrade Billionaires! 

What is going on? Big things, obviously, things that will affect this country for generations. But a lot of it doesn't ring true.

Gene Kerrigan: We don't take taxes from cool people 

You want to get out of paying taxes? We'll tell you how it's done.

Gene Kerrigan: I know, it's only Rock 'n' Ross but I like it 

Now, let's be fair and balanced about this. On the one hand, it's no joke. I mean, a 71-year-old pillar of Irish society arrested in the nip in a Brazilian hotel, in front of a TV camera. With armed cops swarming all over the joint.

Gene Kerrigan: The old choreography has had its day 

Yes, there are a lot of very important things that are seriously wrong with Irish politics and politicians.

Gene Kerrigan: Donald Trump, the angriest white man 

Did you see the knife going in? Last Tuesday, as the Trump presidential bid seemed on the verge of imploding, Barack Obama spoke softly. He appeared at his most thoughtful. In truth, he was being vicious, partisan and unforgiving.

Gene Kerrigan: God bless you, sir, 'tis well ye're looking 

Fair play to the Spaniards. Last week, they got fined by the EU because they broke the rules on fiscal deficits. There's nothing that upsets Brussels more than someone breaking the rules on fiscal deficits.

Leo? Simon? Does it matter a damn? 

It's quiz time, folks - let's see how knowledgeable we are about the current state of political play.

Sadly, the economic news was terrific 

The rest of the world may be reeling from bad news, but last week we got the best economic announcement in the history of the State. I'm no economist, but the people who know about these things suggest we got the best economic news any country has ever received.

How much more of this can we take? 

You'd almost feel sorry for Enda Kenny. There he is, securing his place in the history of this great little nation, and right in front of him Fine Gael is interviewing candidates for his job.

There's blood on his hands - but Blair wasn't alone 

About three million people marched in Rome that day, February 15, 2003. Half a million in Paris, another half a million in Berlin, more than a million in London. In Dublin, there were over 100,000 of us.

Gene Kerrigan: The threat to kill me came from some eejit trying to sound like a Godfather character 

The threat to shoot me came in a phone call to my home from some eejit trying to sound like a character from The Godfather. This was back in the late 1980s, when I was working for the Sunday Tribune. It was chilling - for about 30 seconds. Then, common sense kicked in.

There are consequences when you have the cheek to upset the EU chieftains 

They couldn't conceal their anger. The EU chieftains, caught by the TV cameras on Friday morning, were shocked and they were furious.

The only thing certain is uncertainty 

You can smell the panic: from Washington to Downing Street, from Strasburg to Leinster House. Things are not going according to plan.

Gene Kerrigan: Big changes - Kenny takes off his jacket 

And who, I hear you ask, is the Abraham Lincoln of Irish gays? Is it Enda Kenny or is it Micheal Martin?

Enda's referendas: a new Irish fairytale 

Probably my favourite moment in Irish sport was when Roy Keane scored a late try against Real Madrid in the final furlong of the Pro-Am steeplechase at Wimbledon in 1979.

Time to choose a side: truth or cover-up 

What did the Garda Commissioner know, and when did she know it?

A beautiful terribleness has been born 

So, how's it going, then - the 'New Politics'? Politicians have listened to what the people have said and they've resolved to "do politics differently". None of the old self-serving manoeuvres, none of the old party-first cynicism.

Daly arrested, handcuffed, vilified - move along now, nothing to see here 

Clare Daly was driving in an unfamiliar part of south Dublin and took an illegal turn. The gardai stopped her and decided to breathalyse her.

Gene Kerrigan: There's no telling where this will end 

The odds are you didn't even notice - but last week, they did a job on you. Some very smart people did a job on your perception of what's been happening.

All hail the new Fianna Gael Alliance! 

The Fine Gael/Fianna Fail Alliance, after spending two whole months forming a government, is agreed on the continuation of the Irish Water project.

Mr Davin Power's new erogenous zone 

Way, way back, when I was more easily excited about these things, a newspaper gravely reported the discovery of "a new erogenous zone". Boy, were we feverish.

The rich buy secrecy and sainthood 

The first thing that has to be said about the Panama Papers is that this is a wonderful example of thorough journalism. It took a year to bring it to print and it cost a fortune, with about 400 journalists involved, in 76 countries. Well done to all involved and may we see a lot more of this kind of thing.

They're not very good at this, are they? 

Is Enda Kenny lying about what happened at his disastrous meeting with Micheal Martin? Or is Micheal Martin lying? Or was it all a devious plot?

Does anyone still take them seriously? 

Let's try what they call a "thought experiment". That's something that used to be called "blue sky thinking". Before that the cool people called it "thinking outside the box". Back in my day, we called it "thinking".

CJ would have a deal in the bag by now 

Where's Charlie Haughey when you need him? Crooked? Yeah, Charlie was crooked. Shake hands with Charlie, afterwards you had to count your fingers.

The heroes hidden in the archives 

Charlie Saurin was 18 and he'd a choice to make and I think he made the right one. He joined the Irish Volunteers in 1914, with about 180,000 others.

Who fears to speak of Easter week? 

Official Ireland has long appeared to be terribly nervous about commemorating the 1916 Rising. There's widespread public enthusiasm for the cultural and historical events, particularly among the young, but the Government can't shake off the impression that it feels obliged to do this, and may even benefit politically from it, but its heart isn't really in it.

Vulture funds? The clue is in the name 

There are lots of dots around - let's try to connect some of them. The necessity to do this occurred to me when I read that Paschal Donohoe, Minister for Transport, is upset.

It's our party and we'll cry if we want to 

What are they up to? The two biggest right-wing parties have wasted a week staging meaningless talks that can't lead to anything. Panic? Indecision? I don't think so.

Hey, Big Boy, you fancy a Double Irish? 

One: The two largest right-wing parties have won the General Election. Between them, they have more than enough seats to form a stable government. But that would permanently end the Punch and Judy act that has sustained them for decades.

Welcome to slowly evolving change 

The 2011 general election result was pretty good; this one is even better. It's as good as could reasonably be expected - given that we're witnessing the slow collapse of institutions that served us badly for generations.

Gene Kerrigan: Last-ditch pitch for the politics of fear 

It was the night of the general election, 2011, the polls had closed and there was a poet on RTE.

We can't afford to elect the spineless 

There are, of course, other things going on in the world, apart from the general election. And some of them will have a greater effect on our lives than the outcome of that election.

Eight billion, plus two, minus credibility 

After just two days of the general election campaign, Fine Gael's strategy collapsed. The party is running on its alleged economic expertise. It would "keep the recovery going". That supposed expertise has been irretrievably destroyed.

In, out, in, out, shaking Lowry all about 

This week, at no extra cost, we bring you the Soapbox Political Translation Service. Without it, you won't understand half of what the politicians say in the weeks ahead.

Gene Kerrigan: Not the kind of stories one wants to see 

From time to time, we indulge in moral panics. Usually, this follows a startling scandal unearthed by the media - and often it's RTE that does the spadework.

My Week: Joan Burton* * As imagined by Gene Kerrigan 

Joan Burton's week (as imagined by Gene Kerrigan)

Gene Kerrigan: Let's end the foreplay and get on with it 

You've probably avoided reading any of that stuff in the business pages about the faltering Chinese economy. And about the falling price of oil. Quite right. Me too.

Floods, trolleys and the politics of fear 

Deep in all our hearts, we know the floods will come again, and again, down through the years to come.

Whatever path they chose was bloody 

It isn't really about 1916. Much of the argument you'll hear over the next few months will be dressed up in the regalia of 1916, but the argument is really about politics today. And about the direction we take into the future.

It's fine if we say it, but don't you dare 

It was around this time last year that Sinn Fein TD Padraig Mac Lochlainn used Twitter to describe Charlie Flanagan, Minister for Foreign Affairs, as a c*nt. As a result of this, I'm sure you remember, Mac Lochlainn came under sustained attack from Fine Gael, Labour and the media.

Greed and ambition are bad for health 

For just a while, I thought we'd found a new hero: councillor Hughie McElvaney, star of the RTE Investigates programme. You had to admire his total commitment to unashamedly playing the role of a greedy bastard.

There really should be a law about this 

Last Tuesday evening, Judge William Hamill addressed the Law Reform Commission. In another part of the capital city, Mick Wallace TD was enjoying his final evening of freedom. Hours later he was incarcerated in Limerick prison for a grand total of - eh, two hours.

No one knows how the money flows 

Money is appearing, as if by magic - billions of euros. The people who govern us aren't sure where it's coming from, or who's responsible. And they don't seem terribly curious. They hope it continues, but - to quote one of their leading experts - they're "flying blind".