Billy Keane: 'We are losing our country to the forces of evil that are selling drugs - and it is time we screamed stop'
Two senior gardaí told me lately it's getting worse.
Two senior gardaí told me lately it's getting worse.
People were saying it would be great news altogether if Ireland could avoid the All Blacks. Well, we didn't.
There they'd be, worn out and beardy, after staying up all night at the negotiating.
The Irish are probably the only people in the world who put the word "the" before the word "drink".
Jockeys often take to the sauna when they need to lose a pound or two. Sometimes the race riders wear woolly jumpers, a vest you could wrap a...
Today the skies are blue and the people of Dublin sing I love you.
Today I learnt how to ask for four cold beers. I'm pretty sure they don't serve up warm beer in Japan.
The countdown clock at the bottom of the Six o'clock News ticks inexorably towards no one knows what every time a Brexit story is reported upon.
ST EXPEDITE is named by some as the patron saint of speeding things up. I wonder could we pray to him to expedite the national broadband plan?
This is no field for ordinary men.
The winner's journey up Jones' Road is like no other. Yet this street is like so many others.
Cats don't squeak. They meow. That's why I am fairly sure the intruder isn't a cat. This is live,...
The Fox of Bromore is as cute as a fox, but only sometimes. More times he is no cuter than one...
Kilkenny and Limerick gave us a game they have nowhere else on earth. There was no backstop or back door. This was do or die.
The Woman who Hasn't had Sex for 39 Years isn't that gone on 'Love Island'.
Imagine you are standing at the side of the street ready to cross the road.
When the final whistle went Japan embraced the team that cut loose. Ireland were well beaten. But we are still here with a chance.
I am writing this on the bullet train between Hiroshima and Kobe. The Shinkansen can cover the rail distance between Dublin and Cork in about an hour.
Ireland are sure to go through to the quarter-finals with only one game played.
Today's column is coming from Tokyo and the Rugby World Cup. In the last 24 hours we have made our way from Helsinki over the loneliness of Siberia, Mongolia, China and close enough to North Korea. The roadworks on the N11 were a challenge as was the M50. But we are here now in downtown Tokyo, with all the news.
Kerry went close, but now Dublin are a dip in the Styx away from invincibility. Dublin could become the first team ever to win five in a row.
We speak in whispers. Always the same question. "Have we a chance?"
The Woman who hasn't had Sex for 39 Years is doing the nine Fridays. I am fairly certain most of you do not know very much at all about the doing of the nine Fridays.
Tipperary's 2019 All-Ireland triumph is a tale of two cards.
The abandoned handbag was sitting up on a table in the busy Dublin bar. There was a purse sticking out of the top layer of many.
It was a tale of two games. We will start with the second game first for no other reason than Kerry and Donegal served up a feast of free-range football.
There was a time in summers gone by when I was thinking winter.
It seems that in the extremes of the Antarctic pee freezes into an ice pop before it hits the snow below. There was no cold in Killarney yesterday but someone said there was a man seen with an umbrella and a coat under his oxter.
Eighty-something-year-old Seanie Cool Orange brought Kerry Rose Sally Anne Leahy for a spin in an open-top red convertible.
Netflix have bought the rights to Mayo the Movie.
'Were you out foreign?" I ask. "No," says she. "I was sprayed brown at home by the beautician."
It wouldn't be Mayo if there wasn't a drama. With Mayo, ebb and flow ride the same wave. Just before the final last-ditch, last-kick action, an excitement of small boys invaded Elverys MacHale Park. The Mayo kids thought it was all over; so did their team. Mayo lost concentration and Armagh turned them over more often than pancakes in a creperie.
Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.
The Cork footballers will feel loved again and the Rebel County, famous for ambushing, almost caught Kerry on the hop. No one really gave Cork a chance of winning this Munster final. Not even Cork.
Here is the list of 20 small things done by people especially to annoy me. It has to be a plot. Just has to be.
Noel O'Connell is a talker but his voice is too weak for the phone. He speaks in writing now. This is a talking column.
The Basques, the Celts, the Vikings, the Normans, the Spanish, the Scots, the French and the English have all invaded us.
So what does the homophobic Australian rugby player Israel Folau have to do with the GAA, the IRFU and the FAI?
The man at the bar told me his life story. He is The Badly Wronged Man.
Kerry beat Clare on a wet night in Ennis.
This old man came into our pub in the company of a matchmaker. The old man was a well-off farmer. The matchmaker was a bad man. My parents were wary.
When the Leinster evaluators look back on the season of 2018/19, the marks will be high.
The old travelling man came in to our pub on a slow day and my dad was writing away at the counter.
Munster were well beaten on Saturday. Game over, ball burst for this year.
The Woman Who Hasn't Had Sex For 39 Years told me her late husband has confirmed, through a series of knocks, he is still alive.
Leinster gave their all. We can ask no more. In the end Saracens won by 10 and Leinster had to defend like the heroes they are to keep it at that.
I am all for the Government's plan to bring broadband to all of the people, all of the time.
We will generously share our insider tips with Leinster. If Leinster win the European Champions Cup on Saturday next, they will become the first team to win five stars
The man I knew well was in a bad state but he still managed to crack a joke. "I would jump off a cliff," he said, "but I'm afraid of heights."
The news came through that Ruby had retired with immediate effect.
Patrick Quirke faces life in prison. Bobby Ryan was murdered. Lives are in ruins, there are no secrets - and all over a few fields. There have been many day-trippers who travelled to Dublin to attend the most talked-about show in town. The Tipperary murder trial could have been named 'The Field 2'.
The news came through that Ruby retired with immediate effect.
The Sniff Sniff smells people. Sniff Sniff is the English translation for the new Japanese invention known as Kunkun.
Billy Vunipola is a homophobe. Vunipola is one of the best rugby players in the world. He is an England international who is key to his adopted country's World Cup hopes. Vunipola was awarded man of the match when his club Saracens defeated Munster in Coventry on Saturday in the semi- final of the Heineken Champions Cup.
I didn't notice any great burst of repairing or decorating in the pubs yesterday, which happened to fall on a Good Friday.
I would like to share just a few memories from the last time Munster played in Coventry. There are also a few memories I can't remember. Munster won after a dour struggle against Saracens, the team we play on Saturday in yet another European semi-final. That was 11 years ago, the last time Munster won a semi-final.
The man asked me to talk about buttons and as you might well expect I focused almost exclusively on the belly button, the most important button of all.
Jimmy Duffy from Blennerville pedalled the famed Ring of Kerry charity cycle on an old-fashioned, throw- your-leg-over-the-bar bicycle.
'A skip is therapeutic," said the man collecting the big skip from outside the back of our pub. The skip was full of piled-high rubbish which was in a way a bit like a layered dig on an ancient archaeological site.
Mayo of the so many sorrows found joy unconfined on a winning final Sunday. The bravest team of them all beat Kerry to win silver at last in Croke Park.
The Irish in Britain came to Edinburgh in their thousands. Inside the red jersey beats the heart of home. Munster, as ever, turned an away game in to a home fixture.
They're all at me and I'm at myself too.
Mickey and Barney's circus pitched their big top just down the road from Dr Hyde Park.
It's been a while now since we brought you an update on the activities of The Woman Who Hasn't Had Sex for 39 Years.
St Patrick spent a good bit of time in Mayo as a shepherd slave or doing penance on wet mountains. Our patron saint inspired Mayo people for generations and one of his many accomplishments was his perseverance.
I hope the environmentalists don't turn against St Patrick because he kicked the snakes out of Ireland.
Ireland gave France the kind of beating they used to give us when I was a boy. French rugby was a cut above back then.
Bob Dylan's 'Blowin' in the Wind' asks a series of questions and the gist of it all is when will we ever learn?
It's the same as snakes wearing St Patrick's Day badges, which is stolen or adapted by yours truly from the one about turkeys voting for Christmas.
The unprecedented success of high yield, financially viable horticultural produce has hit the headlines in recent times.
Rome has seen its share of turmoil over the centuries and at half-time yesterday it looked as if Ireland would flood the Tiber with tears of grief.
We speak a number of different versions of the English language in this country. Our linguistic log started in Cork city. We travelled from there to west Limerick and ended in John B's, when Derry came to Kerry.
Last week in Cork, I met with six runners who were forced to run away from their beloved, but troubled, homelands.
We need to tell you today of how it was An Bord Pleanála refused planning permission for a hospice in Galway, because, among other things, it was worried about the fate of a field.
In a year when silage was cut in January, Kerry and Dublin went at each other as if this was autumn and All-Ireland final day.
Sometimes when travellers describe small places, they say "blink and you'll miss it". They were never in Dunnamaggin and never met Johnny Cahill.
There's a line from the Kris Kristofferson song Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down that springs to mind today: "No way to hold my head that didn't hurt."
The English have landed. Never has an invading force from the other side of the Irish Sea been more welcome.
The best fun weekend of the lot is nearly here and the 'Tut-Tuts' are not happy, as you might expect. The partying begins today, which is traditionally the first day of spring, ahead of tomorrow's Ireland v England Six Nations clash.
The weather, as expected, has turned wintry. Then again, this is winter.
Exeter Chiefs, leaders of the English Premiership, are famed for their clinical execution in the red zone. Late on, the Chiefs were awarded a lineout close to the Munster line.
Seventy-nine-year-old Chris Sexton from Miltown Malbay told Andrew Hamilton of 'The Clare People' he filled buckets of wild field mushrooms over the last few weeks.
Cork County Board chairperson Tracey Kennedy defined Corkness as "that air of confidence just on the right side of arrogance - an unparalleled pride and our insatiable desire for Cork to be the best at absolutely everything."
My best source has been cruelly taken from me by the scaremongering of transatlantic shoppers. It's not like as if there isn't anything much going on. The one good thing about Trump is that you'd never be stuck for a column.
It's that time of the year again, when men and women without any sense make predictions with the certainty of those who are never wrong. I'm lucky in that I am seldom wrong. There's a touch of the Pope about me, with that uncanny ability to be always right.
This is what was said to me by the woman in the underwear department of the big store when I asked to buy a bra and knickers, for myself.
There was no hiding on the rugby field of Thomond and there's no place to hide behind the pub counter either.
The secret marzipan thief is the man who ate the icing on the cake, off the cake.
Gratitude is the big word now. So if Santa forgets to bring you the new Mercedes tonight, well then cheer up and give thanks for the gift that keeps on giving.
Margaret had a bounty on her head. She was dead meat they said. Her days were numbered anyway and the escape from captivity was considered to be no more than a stay of execution.
It was the way Benjamin Urdapilleta looked over at the ref that gave away his guilt.
The word the woman I met in the street used was loco-commotion. It's a new word even though it sounds like an old word for moving, if you say it fast.
Is it a compliment when you criticise a team that have won by 25 points?
The Woman Who Hasn't Had Sex For 39 Years is worried she will lose her widow's pension. Even though Mrs 39 (reluctantly) attended her husband's funeral 27 years ago, she could still be married.
The full name of the game was the Hula Hoops Pat Duffy National Cup Q/F Garvey's Tralee Warriors v UCC Demons.
Jonathan Sexton's famous boots were sold off at €15,500 for the two. There was another 10 grand paid up front by way of bank draft by Betty Boots.
Weeshie Fogarty - broadcaster, writer, nurse, the most loving of husbands and the dearest of dads - died last week, but he did not pass away and he never will.
There is more money around and the recovery has reached rural Ireland. The improvements in terms of income are here at last, but in smaller increments than in the cities.
I know there are those of you who write down things to do before you die.
Chance and Circumstance met on the banks of a fast river in a mad hurry for the sea. And here is the story of that meeting.
This plan is cunning marketing and it may even be illegal if there is no excise duty being paid. The chipper man from way up the country who was nearly gone broke is harvesting the money into round bales. Thanks to the plan. Or so I'm told.
Ireland ran Italy around Soldier Field until the Azurri wore out. This is the way to play Italy who were brave but were as blunt as an old razor blade by the end of the game.
The Woman Who Hasn't Had Sex for 39 Years isn't herself. She's giving out a lot these days but there's always a reason.
The big news came just before the game: Colm 'Gooch' Copper, a man in the autumn of his career, would stay in his tracksuit even though he was named in the starting XV.
I came across a romantic Mills and Boon-type novella the other day and it was written by a friend of mine, under a pen name, at a time when he was badly stuck for money.
There are some of you who have forsaken the delights of alcohol in this Sober October. I'd be a Holy Souls man myself.
Munster came home on the night of the game. There was no pub crawl in Exeter. After a savage battle with the locals, Munster were barely able to walk up the steps of the plane.
The coaches at Exeter Chiefs and Coventry Wasps were surely shocked by the derby fervour.
The rugby season of 2018-19 is a stag party. The stated aim of a stag party, aside from wrecking the heads of already harassed and distressed publicans, is to ensure the groom gets a good send-off.
I'm lying on a beach out foreign and as sure as the tides come in and the tides go out, so too do the columns.
This Dublin Ladies team have brought the game to a new level of skill and endurance, with plenty of tough but fair thrown in as well.
It's Saturday - the night before the race. Ellie Mac was the first one to bed. She lay down in her stable by the River Feale and slept to the soothing sounds of water flowing over stone.
Dublin is more than a team. Dublin is a fountain of football, a holy well pumping out the water of life.
This is the age of conspiracy and the time of intrigue. We live in the reign of dastardly deeds. Jose Mourinho is the victim of a fiendish and cunning media plot and only I know the how and the why.
If God ever made anything better than the hurling, he kept it for himself. Limerick take Liam at last after another epic poem of a match. Limerick at long last.