Thursday 22 March 2018

Giving in to the comfort of submission

Going for a spin: it can be hard to find the perfect bicycle
Going for a spin: it can be hard to find the perfect bicycle
Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

She got me a bicycle helmet for Christmas. This was like her buying a present for herself. It was a bit like a man buying a woman sexy lingerie. She wanted to see me in a bicycle helmet. I put it on and pranced around the room and she seemed happy. Of course if this was a fantasy life, she would have given me the helmet, got me to put it on, and then we would have walked outside to where there was a new bike with a bow wrapped around it. My real present.

This did not happen. The helmet was my real present. She says that people who use Dublin Bikes think they have an invisible cloak of safety around them and they don't wear helmets. I was happy to submit to her.

And indeed the first of my many New Year's resolutions is to cycle a bit more. I have been bothering Frank in the Dutch Bike Shop a lot recently. Every time we were there doing a Santa scope-out I would fall in love with a different bike, but procrastinate about buying it. He has now lent me a bike for a while. He keeps insisting there's no rush on it. I think he just wants me to go away for a while. Anyway, I think now I know what I want. Because I saw the actor Liev Schreiber, who is currently my style guru, on one of them in New York. It's a big, heavy cargo bike. Given that I am not a postman, and I don't do deliveries for a local butcher or baker, and given I don't need to transport three kids on my bike, I should probably get a lighter, niftier bike. But I tell myself that the cargo bike will require a bit more effort to get around, and it will take more bangs and bumps and punishment. In reality, I want it because it looks cool. I'm probably even going to get a wooden crate to put on the front. This is a sure sign that hipsterdom is dead.

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