o, wait, rewind that for a second, he didn't actually say what I think he just said, did he?
Oh yes, he did.
Like most of the nation slowly climbing the walls during this period of house arrest, I've been looking for things to lighten the mood.
So, when I'm done with my daily work from home, I wander out to the barbecue and play around for a while. I only realised that I'd been using it so much when we went through a fresh gas canister in about 10 days, when usually I'd get three to four weeks out of one.
But man can't exist on burned chicken and incinerated sausages alone. We need something to improve the head just as much as we need badly-charred food for our belly. In other words, now more than ever is a time for us to try to squeeze some laughter out of life.
Some attempts have been more successful than others. I've been watching a lot of Doug Stanhope on YouTube. His fans already know the guy's a genius, although I was strangely down after watching his routine about helping his mother with her suicide. It's a stunning routine, but I guess I'm just not really in the mood for a whole killing-your-ma sketch at the moment.
Norm Macdonald has been a reliable source of entertainment and if you've ever wondered why serial killers go through all that hassle and then just leave the body in a shallow grave that's easy for the cops to find, then the great Norm will be right up your street.
But for reliable, nightly entertainment available on CNN or Fox News, I defy anyone to find anything better than Donald Trump's increasingly daring comedy stylings, where he dry-runs new and untried material before a small live audience. Or, as he calls them, his daily press briefings.
Every night around 10pm our time, America's most underrated stand-up takes to the stage and delivers a masterclass in surreal zingers interspersed with the kind of left-field, bizarre observations that only a natural comic could ever conjure and, oh man - have you seen the way he deals with the hecklers? Or, as they like the call themselves, respected members of the White House press corps.
While holding the mic and musing about the state of the world, as all comedians do, he mentioned that detergents and disinfectants are good at... well, they're good at disinfecting things. He then suggested that if detergent was good enough to clean a surface, why shouldn't it be good enough for the human body?
As he put it: "Is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning?"
That was when I hit the rewind button.
Had the President of the United States just suggested that people start to inject themselves with Dettol?
I'm no medical expert, but isn't injecting a body with such a substance normally called... embalming?
Did the leader of the free world, lord of all surveys and mortal enemy of fake news, actually, openly, publicly ponder the idea of people sticking a syringe of powerful cleaning chemicals into their body?
My cellmate (sorry, wife) was aghast. So we watched it again, convinced there was a fiendish punchline about to be delivered.
But punchline there was not.
Welcome to 2020, people, where the POTUS reckons bleaching your insides can, in any circumstances, be seen as a good idea.
In fairness to him, that idea was so flamboyantly daft that only a tiny few of his most committed fans would contemplate such a thing and, it has to be said, it still wasn't as bad as his earlier suggestion that people should start using hydroxychloroquine, a form of anti-malarial medicine that has the same side-effects as Lariam.
Trust me, I took that stuff a few years ago before a work trip to Zimbabwe and I wasn't right for a year afterwards - that stuff can do a serious psychoactive dance on your head and I found myself looking at giant spiders coming out of the walls while people's faces had a weird tendency to melt as I spoke to them.
So no, I wouldn't recommend that treatment. Frankly, I'd rather take my chances with the disease than go through a 12-month bad acid trip again.
Sadly for Donald, his latest routine didn't go down well with the audience and he was forced to walk it back. Which he did. A bit.
In fact, watching him claim that he was merely being 'sarcastic' and didn't actually mean it was like watching a kid being forced to apologise to a classmate - but refusing to look in their eyes as the teacher makes them shake hands.
It was almost as if he had seen Simon Harris mistakenly claim that Covid-19 got its name because it's the 19th coronavirus, and decided to outdo the Irish health minister in terms of coming out with outrageous material.
It's no surprise that Trump's aides have been begging him to stop doing his nightly stand-up routine and many of them now have the ashen-faced look of an Isis hostage as they cower beside him at the podium.
But Donald will not be silenced! No great comedian ever is.
And if you didn't like that particular joke? Don't fret. With Creepy Uncle Joe as his opponent, Trump could well be looking at another four-year residency in Washington.
Could they not just give him his own HBO special instead?