Sinead Ryan: 'I resolve to just keep on keeping on'
I'm a failure at New Year Resolutions. But aren't we all?
We pick a random date (today) to begin to do things we have utterly bombed at so far, sometimes regularly.
We do so at a time when we've just been massively over-indulging on the things we now claim to want to stop doing.
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At the same time, we're determined to start doing stuff we really don't want to and have been unable to do up to now.
It's a clear recipe for setting yourself up for failure.
Most of us muddle through life reacting to things. Kids, finances, health, events. We astonish ourselves by how little planning we get to do, especially as we age.
I don't know about you, but I was certain when I was in my early 20s that the whole adulting thing would be sorted by 30.
By then, I had a baby, a toddler, a mortgage, a job and still wasn't doing terribly well with any of them.
Age 35 for sure, I thought. Then 40 crept along and some of it all started to disintegrate. Then 45 and well, you know the rest. It turns out you never quite get a full grasp on being grown-up after all.
For the most part I suppose I'm doing as well as anybody, but what do I know?
Indeed, what did I ever know?
And perhaps that, dear reader, is what today is all about.
Not focusing on what we did that we shouldn't last year, or doing what we ought to have done before, but simply reflecting that, in the grand scheme of things, if you're getting by, and mostly content, most of the time, that may be the All.
Anyhow, happy new year, and may 2020 bring you whatever you seek … if you don't look too hard.
Sometimes smarter does not mean better
2020 is bound to bring - sigh - even more digital technology than we can get to grips with. Banks, naturally, are at the forefront of finding creative ways of parting us from our money, and the latest is smart jewellery.
Not content with having us card tap, which some millennials find too tiresome and long-winded and you have to, like, remember to, like, bring the card everywhere (anyone remember when everything had to be paid for by cheque?), you can now wear a smart-ring on your finger and, hey presto, when you are in dire need of a latte or avo on toast, you simply tap it on the yoke at the cash register.
Smart readers on the other hand will have detected the flaw: what if natural clumsiness, or putting your hand out for your items causes the ring to tap inadvertently against the thing, twice?
Well, don't worry. Apparently, to work properly, you have to initiate a specialised hand gesture, thus avoiding accidental payments.
A clenched fist, a ninja-like wave or a karate chop are suggested.
What could go wrong?
Anyway, the smartest jewellery, as any girl will tell you, is still a glittering diamond.
You've made a right balls of it, haven't you lads?
Should the Government bail out the FAI? Should Uefa?
I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you what I'm sick of looking at and that's line upon line of middle-aged besuited blokes wringing their hands and blaming other people.
They are not role models for the vast majority of young kids kicking a ball on a Saturday morning, nor their hard-working parents struggling to kit them out and bring them to games. New balls … and preferably fewer balls, please.