Rachel Dugan: 'A new twist in Victoria's knickers'
I've never stepped foot inside a Victoria's Secret shop. Well, that's not strictly true. I may have inadvertently veered over the threshold of a branch in London before speedily swivelling on my heels once I caught sight of the emaciated mannequins with little but mauve lace to cover their moulded modesty.
I used to think it was because the lingerie giant didn't have a standalone store in this country. But since two outlets opened here, I've realised that was just an excuse. The truth is that perusing their displays of stringy smalls and satin bustiers is my idea of hell, a bit like visiting a dungeon to have a look at some torture wear.
I'll take something soft and stretchy that hugs my bits like a long-lost pal over ungenerously cut undies in scratchy lace and other sweaty synthetic fabrics.
But even if "sexy" knickers are your thing, there is something seriously off about the particular brand of sexy Victoria's Secret likes to peddle.
It is a narrow definition to match the uniformly narrow waistlines of the brand's stiletto-wearing models, and it is one that feels massively out of touch with modern womanhood.
Last year chief marketing officer Ed Razek claimed transsexual models should not be cast in the brand's annual parade of befeathered glamazonian beauties "because the show is a fantasy".
Fast-forward to this week and poor old Ed has quit after it was revealed a transgender model has been lined up for this year's show.
It's certainly a sign the brand is trying to evolve, which is hardly surprising. Sagging (ahem) sales and fewer people than ever tuning in to catch its runway extravaganza has surely not gone unnoticed at HQ.
But no matter how many diverse shapes, sizes and sexualities they bring to their next catwalk, I won't be shopping in Victoria's Secret anytime soon. Even with all the brand overhauls in the world, women have realised there's just nothing at all sexy about a G-string wedgie.
A step too far in fight against 'overtourism'
Speakingof bums, resting yours on Rome's famed Spanish Steps has now been deemed an offence worthy of a €250 fine.
Whistle-blowing officials this week have been shooing crowds of people off the steps like they were flocks of bothersome pigeons.
The new rules brought in by the local council also ban wandering around bare-chested, jumping into fountains, dragging wheeled suitcases down historic staircases and "messy eating" by monuments.
Which makes sense. I'm sure they'd much rather you fork out €30 for a coffee and a croissant at a café with a view rather than sip your takeaway iced latte for free on the steps.
Sadly, the authorities didn't see fit to ban the opening of McDonald's right in front of the city's ancient Pantheon.
Udderly ridiculous proposals are the norm
It seems we are living in an era of the indecent proposal. There was the guy last year who got down on one knee as his girlfriend reached mile 16 of the New York marathon. Then there was the man who thought his other-half's graduation ceremony was the right moment to ask her to be his wife.
But you don't have to be a spotlight-stealing wannabe husband to mess up a proposal and face the wrath of the twitterati.
One farmer's attempt at a proposal went viral this week after his picture of the ring wedged onto the udder of one of his dairy cows went viral. Neither his intended, nor his bovine ring bearer, were - understandably - impressed.