Dear people of the future. They’ve said we can write a time capsule into our census form to tell you what it’s like in 2022 so maybe if you’re doing some research into your ancestors, you might be looking at this. I don’t know what you expected your ancestors to be like — probably, like, interesting people. But we’re not. Anyway, you literally wouldn’t believe what’s going on here. BTW we say literally a lot, and we don’t always mean literally. We are literally obsessed with claiming to be literally obsessed.
Anyway, you probably would believe what’s going on here because you’ve probably read about it in the history books. Sometimes, that’s the only thing that keeps us going, thinking that we will be in the history books as some kind of, like, Greatest Generation, who lived through interesting times and endured so much.
The truth is we aren’t that great. Literally no one could be less suited than us to all the stuff that’s going on right now. We have complained and fought the whole way through it. We complained when the Government didn’t follow Dr Tony’s advice and now we are freaking out because they ARE following it. But then, you probably know all that. You guys are probably still fighting about whether to wear masks or not, lol.
Anyway. So we had a pandemic, right? But that’s over now. Loads of people still have Covid, some of them, for, like, the third time, but trust me, it’s over. We had loads of other bad stuff to get on with, so we had to just end the pandemic, to focus on war and an oil crisis and food shortages.
It’s lucky for us the pandemic is over, because it means we are able to use the money we had set aside for the pandemic for everything else. So the pandemic money is being used to sort out the cost of living issues and it’s being used to house all the Ukrainians coming and it’ll be used for whatever else crops up. Lucky we have that money for spending on everything else. We’ll be fine as long as the pandemic doesn’t come back. But it’s not. That’s over now, OK?
So are you guys still working from home? We all work from home now. It’s totally cool. No one keeping an eye on you. You just need to make sure you’re logged onto your computer. We’ve all realised that most of our days in so-called work did not involve actual work, but chit-chat and general time-wasting and having your time wasted by other people. So now, if you’re smart and motivated, you can get your day’s work done in about three hours.
Which will give you time to go and queue at the airport for your flight. It’s currently advised that you get to the airport three days before your flight leaves, so that you can queue up for people to check that you don’t have any liquids in your bag, because, like, yeah, that’s the major danger facing us all right now.
PS If you have the technology to send someone back to change the future, someone might look into making Vladimir Putin a successful judo instructor, and maybe close down the seafood market in Wuhan before late 2019.