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Love is in the air from Monday - just as long as the pheromones can travel at least two metres

Billy Keane


Keane's Kingdom

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'Monday next will test out the patriotism of the nation.'

'Monday next will test out the patriotism of the nation.'

REUTERS

'Monday next will test out the patriotism of the nation.'

Do any of ye happen to know what the pheromones are? I only learned what they were this week, when I read about a dating site based in Mullingar.

These are not the greatest of days for the survival of the pheromone. Most of the romance, both physical and intellectual, is done online now. There are people only dying to touch each other during these times of isolation and abstinence. I am waiting for the case to come up in the courts. The headline would read: "Couple who live in different houses caught in bed." Breaking isolation is the new adultery.

At least now we know what it must have been like long ago. There was no sex before marriage back in the old days.