Saturday 20 January 2018

Lisa Markwell: A bad-hair day is better than a no-hair day

THERE’S a football tournament on, I believe, but the only way in which this impinges on my life is that it affords me the opportunity to study Wayne Rooney's hair transplant in close-up.

Will the heat in Ukraine affect the tufts of recent growth? Is the fact that it appears to be a bit blond a sign whence it came? I need details. Others may scoff at such a trivial matter, but it is not trivial at all to those who are losing or who have lost their hair.

This is a rare moment of sympathy across the sexes. The fact that saggy, wrinkly, overweight men attract very little negative attention – while something as innocuous as Madonna's fiftysomething breast (which appears to be relatively fit for purpose) gets howls of "Put 'em away, love" that can be heard across the globe – is pretty unfair.

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