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Life's good for this Egyptian goddess

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Maple the cat

Maple the cat

Maple the cat

I'm a tortoiseshell named Maple. I moved out from my former home because there were problems, the most annoying one was kittens.

It had all started well, I was brought by my previous caregivers (nobody owns a cat) with my two brothers Oscar and Lewis to a nice house, but a far cry from the palace of my ancestors in ancient Egypt.

Everything was wonderful at the beginning, we had the run of the house, then the restrictions started.

His guitar was off limits, even though I think Oscar had the makings of a good guitarist. I would not touch it myself because of the disgusting strings.

Oscar escaped through the cat flap and was mowed down on the road. Then within a week Lewis went hunting and ended up meeting a sad end too.

In ancient Egypt, whoever kills a cat is condemned to death. My caregivers buried him lovingly in the garden beside his brother shedding many tears.

I'm not sure where the term caterwauling comes from but it's not from cats.

After that I was treated like a princess. After all, the first feline Egyptian goddess was a domestic cat.

Then my first admirer came calling. Gosh he was gorgeous, as black as night with round jade green eyes and white whiskers which quivered when he purred around me.

Then to add to my great joy two more appeared. I slinked around showing my best attributes, Eartha Kitt-like. All that attention was exhilarating but then one morning I was bundled into a basket and brought to the vet, who jabbed me with a needle and when I awoke I was a little wobbly on my paws.

After that the admirers stopped calling.

Then when I thought nothing worse could happen my caregivers produced two marmalade kittens named Mittens and Morse to keep me company. Unfortunately, Morse developed a disease and died. My unfortunate caregivers had as much luck with cats as Cleopatra had with snakes.

Then Mittens had four squealing kittens. I had enough and between that and the luck factor I decided to move to the neighbour's. They have a nice garden with a pond and a bird table with nuts for the fluttering blue tits and robins, perfect take away food at the stretch of my paw.

I have my new caregivers well-trained and she has bought me a very comfortable chocolate-coloured igloo bed but I like her yellow wing back chair also which I blend into perfectly.

Yes, life is good now.

Name: Maple

Finest hour: Adopting present caregivers

Likes: Watching cats on TV

Dislikes: Cat-carrier

- If you would like your pet featured in this column please send a story of 440 words and a photograph to snews@independent.ie clearly labelled MY PET

Sunday Independent