Tuesday 20 November 2018

Leslie Ann Horgan: 'Oh please, ye gods, release us from this 2003 celebrity time loop'

'J-Lo posed literally half naked in an artfully draped Valentino cape in a dazzling green. If there’s any concrete proof of time travel, then it’s this woman and her eternal youth.'
'J-Lo posed literally half naked in an artfully draped Valentino cape in a dazzling green. If there’s any concrete proof of time travel, then it’s this woman and her eternal youth.'
'J-Lo posed literally half naked in an artfully draped Valentino cape in a dazzling green. If there’s any concrete proof of time travel, then it’s this woman and her eternal youth.'
Leslie Ann Horgan

Leslie Ann Horgan

Perhaps it is because I spent the weekend in Oxford absorbing all of the ancient magnificence while a local resident scoffed at the tourists taking photos of a “modern” bridge — “For god’s sake, it was only built in 1913!” Or perhaps it’s because the clocks went back while I was there and I enjoyed an extra hour of sleep, very possibly for the last time due to the EU Commission’s proposal to dump Daylight Savings Time. Or perhaps it was simply that it was Halloween this week and there’s something spooky going on. Whatever the cause, this week I have noticed we have slipped into a time warp.

“It’s astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll,” Richard O’Brien growled in the famous Rocky Horror Show song, and you don’t have to be a science fiction fan to agree with that sentiment when you look around at the current celebrity landscape. Are we in 2018 or 2003? Consider the evidence before you consult your calendar.

Victoria Beckham is on the front of every celebrity gossip magazine, their headlines proclaiming that it’s doomsday for her marriage — surely the longest, most drawn out ‘will they, won’t they’ in history. Her former compatriots, the Spice Girls, are set to burst back on to the scene in the coming weeks with a new tour and rumours of new music in the offing (albeit without their most stylish member who has, most would say wisely, decided to concentrate on her fashion business instead).

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