Leo the Lynx truly has The Killers instinct

Brendan O'Connor

Sam Connolly on stage with The Killers at Malahide Castle

June 19 2022 02:30 AM

In this era of populism there is always one easy answer to all our problems, and the latest easy answer became clear midweek as we listened to Sam. Sam was the young Dubliner who got pulled up on stage to play with popular beat combo The Killers in Malahide on Tuesday night. As Sam did the rounds of radio interviews, one thing became clear. He was the only truly happy person in Ireland. He was the antidote to the cost of living, the protocol, the return of Covid. The rest of us, in our negativity, were tempted to say: “Enjoy it while you can kid. It’s all downhill from here.” But still, you couldn’t take it away from Sam. He was purely, simply, joyfully happy.

It was only after another young Dub, Sam’s friend as it happens, was pulled up to fill in on drums for The Killers the following night, that the answer to all our problems really became clear. The Killers need to stay in Malahide indefinitely, playing a gig every night, and each night they need to pull someone else up on the stage with them, possibly until they have got through all of us.

They could start maybe with Leo Varadkar and Pearse Doherty. There’s two lads who could do with letting off some steam behind a drum kit. The pair seemed to even surprise themselves by how far they went in the Dáil on Thursday in comparing their criminal records or lack thereof.

It subsequently emerged that Fine Gael possibly has a dossier for how to attack Sinn Féin. No one was too shocked at this — and we assume that maybe Sinn Féin has a similar dossier, only it’s much less likely to emerge.

We wondered whether the public had much appetite for this in the middle of an inflating inflation crisis. Some of the good old boys in FG seemed to welcome the return of Varadkar as attack-dog, while his opponents were spinning the narrative that he lost his cool. Because it’s generally agreed that, like all Irish people, Varadkar is much more effective when he’s being passive aggressive rather than outright aggressive.

His real killer blow last week was not as extensively reported. The President, who looks like he might need some time behind a drum kit too, seems to have decided that he is going to speak out more about political issues, and he dares the Government to say anything back.

While no politician dared hit back directly, Varadkar quietly put the President in his box. “It’s always much easier to describe a problem and to make pronouncements about it than to actually come up with solutions,” he began. “That’s our job. Not just to describe problems, but actually to come up with solutions and implement them. That’s a very different thing. And a much harder job.” Ouch!

And without mentioning the President’s many years in actual politics, or his massive salary and massive gaff, and without attacking the President at all, Varadkar condescendingly took him out as effectively as a lynx taking out a Phoenix Park deer.

And on that note — the scent of Lynx in the park — we are back to young men at a Killers concert.