Saturday 23 November 2019

Kim Bielenberg: Price register is only soft core property porn

IT is time to despair. The new register of residential property prices will give encouragement to dinner party bores everywhere.

For well over a decade, we have had to listen to windbags regaling us with stories about how a house down the road that sold for €1 million during the boom, is now worth a paltry €100,000.







Now, with the spanking new property price register, they will be able to come up with the hard evidence.







At their sweaty fingertips they will have chapter and verse of what sold on Acacia Avenue , and at what price.







One can imagine these conversation killers tapping breathlessly on their iPhones to produce the latest figures as you snore into your dessert.







The register, which has just gone online, has already been described as a new form of “property porn’’.







But one has to wonder whether any material produced by an outfit known as the Irish Property Services Regulatory Authority could be classed in the same category as Fifty Shades of Grey, unless you are a genuine masochist.







For a short time householders may delight in checking how much the house down the road has fetched. But the cheap thrill will surely wear off.







Most residents of the average Irish suburban street feel that they are already party to this information. Who cares whether the figure is accurate?







For the property porn addict, there is one major flaw to the new register.







The directory only gives a naked figure. There is no information about how many bedrooms there are in the house; and whether there are Waterford Crystal door handles, Gucci wallpaper, a remote controlled double door garage, not to mention the whirlpool Jacuzzi steambath with matching gold taps.







For that kind of explicit no-holds-barred hard core home furnishing detail, enthusiasts will still have to rely on local gossip, or pick up one of the property supplements.







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