Smile: Permanently affixed to face, as though it had been painted on at the moment of conception by some benevolent deity
Glass: Half full
Looks on: The bright side of life, despite overwhelming evidence that human existence is, in fact, the Biblical vale of tears after all
Intended effect on others: To comfort and cheer them up
Actual effect on others: They suspect she may have some form of mental illness
Reads: Deepak Chopra, Paulo Coelho, Norman Vincent Peale, biographies of stout-hearted figures like Winston Churchill, Twitter feeds which reproduce famous quotes on positivity that are mostly either incorrect or entirely invented
Such as: "Love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching" - Albert Einstein
Never reads: The news - much too depressing
Conversational skills: Can change the subject from gloomy to happy inside five seconds
Accompanied by: Brisk clapping and a tone of voice reminiscent of a playschool minder trying to jolly up the kids into tidying away their toys
Frequently used terms: Oh let's not talk about that; what's for you won't pass you by; there's no point in dwelling on it; sure, you have to crack on; no use crying over spilled milk; ooh, look, a kitten!
Often seems on the brink of: Hysterical tears
Holds them at bay: By reminding herself that Churchill wouldn't cry. And neither would Deepak Chopra
Likely quote: "Ah sure, it could be worse"
Unlikely quote: "Life is but a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"