It's a well-versed truth - the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Unfortunately, indifference alludes to the fact you are dead inside, which is an awful shame because it deserves its time in the sun.
I sound like Hannibal Lecter, but indifference is infinitely more empowering than love and so much easier to manage.
Hence, I may get on to Hallmark and see would they be interested in promoting an 'Indifference Day'. Perhaps on a full moon in the middle of Mercury retrograde when no stars are aligned.
It won't matter, because it's 'Indifference Day' and you don't give a damn.
Someone lets you down - who cares? Someone doesn't call or text - whatever. You just saw an ex with their new love - you wish them well.
It works across the board too, not just romantically. I was skiing in the Alps last week and it rained. I was enraged. On 'Indifference Day', I would have skied down the side of a wet mountain, soaked to the bone, singing: "I feel good. I knew that I would now."
The poster children of 'Indifference Day' can be Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. First they had love, then they had Angelina Jolie, then a few failed marriages and a blended family for Brad, lots of drama and now they're single and have reached a point of tolerance. As Somerset Maugham suggested: "Tolerance is another word for indifference."
Whenever we see them, they look positively gleaming. Not because they just bumped into each other at an awards show, and they secretly still fancy each, but because they're over it. It happens. You can even stop fancying Brad. It would take me 100 years longer than with a normal homo sapiens male, but it's possible.
Aniston is over the public heartbreak of seeing her ex with the world's most beautiful woman.
He's over going out with the world's most beautiful woman, which didn't end up being all it was cracked up to be.
They don't openly celebrate this by shouting from the rooftops and being smug. That means they still care, which is the opposite of indifference.
Oddly, despite its obvious virtues, indifference is still mistaken for apathy in a Genghis Khan or 'American Psycho' kind of way. Many people can't achieve it because they still care and get irritated.
But you will never feel the joys of indifference unless you are open to it.
The alternative is being in a bad relationship and not moving on.
Researchers at the universities of Nevada and Michigan who monitored 373 couples over 16 years found those in unhappy marriages suffered poorer health. You're only as happy as the partner you chose to marry, even if you continuously lie to yourself and insist you did the right thing.
Yet people still do it. Imagine, if you could, what benefits emotional detachment would bring?
We live in times of heightened emotion, online trolling, abuse, political correctness and offence culture. I sound like a member of Kraftwerk, the ice-cold 1970s Teutonic electro outfit, but what about an 'Emotional Detachment Day?'
It's like 'Indifference Day,' but could run alongside Valentine's Day. Rather than be jealous about the celebration of romance and smug couples buying M&S meals for two, you celebrate a day where you become impervious to other people's idiosyncrasies and insecurities.
Your inner composure and equanimity will ensure you don't take things personally. You essentially become the Dalai Lama.
If you're not interested in 'Indifference Day' or 'Emotional Detachment Day', alternatively, there's "I can't be arsed either way" day - similar but it involves more take-out and Netflix.