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Grace Dent: Who exactly is supposed to be interested in Kate’s baby? Not me – and not anyone I know

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Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton

ON hearing about the eight-week-old cluster of cells attached to the lower portions of the Duchess of Cambridge, I leapt to call my editor and be placed on Royal Wombwatch, crying "pick me!"

Let me be one of the professional mum-bores destined to spend more than 200 days tracking every twinkle of eye, bashful royal head tilt, Harrods buggy delivery, midriff ounce gained and lost, name hint, piece of soft cheese avoided and controversial decision to walk, run or ski.




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