There were lots of things we hadn't heard of when I was a new mother. Three-in-one 'travel systems' for babies, parental leave, baby showers, gender-reveal parties. How we coped, I'll never know.
The latter is a ridiculous American import which I sincerely hope smart Irish parents never adopt. They seem to have become a 'thing' though, when honestly and truly, revealing the gender of your unborn child is only news if you don't expect it to be either a boy or a girl.
Who cares? As any parent will attest, almost overwhelmingly they don't mind in the least, as long as it's a healthy infant.
Anyhow, the whole nonsense has got out of hand lately.
A couple, whose occupation appears to be selling YouTube videos, spent $95,000 (€80,000) hiring one of the tallest buildings in Dubai to hijack it with blue and pink lights, to reveal after an agonisingly boring 15 minutes that, in fact, they were having a blue.
Or a boy, presumably. The mother-to-be breathlessly told the world that they had delayed two months to share the news it had been waiting for.
They wanted their family to "look back and see what we built and created".
Hmm. Sounds romantic. "Shall we build and create a baby asset tonight, darling?"
Silly and all as that is, it's their own money to waste as they so choose.
A far more serious outcome followed another gender-reveal event where fireworks were set off (presumably an uninventive blue and pink again), at El Dorado Ranch park in California the week before, setting fire to 7,300 acres of beautiful, now dead, parkland and resulting in the evacuation of a town of 54,000 people nearby.
Enough, people. Your baby has more to worry about than its gender. For starters, they are beginning life with stupid parents.
Oh gosh, how we miss travel. All those places not visited this year, the city breaks foregone, the sangria and sun on the beach and the nod to culture by visiting your one and only museum of the year.
But look on the bright side; we didn't lose hours trying to navigate the Ryanair app without buying four suitcases, a hire car and overpriced insurance.
We didn't waste time lining up in airport security, or having to squish a week of your life into a tiny holdall. And none of us has to suffer a dried, congealed mess disguised as 'dinner' on a long-haul flight.
Well, Thai Airways believes its customers actually are missing out. It has opened a restaurant at its headquarters kitted out like a plane, with drop trays on the reclining plane seats, to serve 'food' and mimic the flight experience.
Astonishingly, it is serving 2,000 meals a day.
Presumably, transporting it a mere 30 steps from the kitchen makes it much more palatable than at 30,000 feet.
Stuck for student digs this year? If you've been waiting to see what college place you were offered, you might have held off on finding accommodation.
Never mind… the ideal base has been revealed. Coppers is offering rooms at €40 a night.
Study by day, roll over into the bar by night. Now that sounds like student heaven.