Last week saw Divorce Day - the day of the year on which solicitors traditionally receive the most enquiries about ending marriages.
It makes sense: the days are short, the nights are long, and the excuse of Christmas has passed. There is a tantalising possibility of a 'new you'; possible only without the old them.
This is true of no one so much as Kim and Kanye, who are reportedly legally separating. Kanye fans can't wait for the album that will surely come out of it; Kim fans/observers look forward to her wearing whatever she wants again after Kanye's pathological beigeness.
It wasn't exactly a surprise. It's well known that Kim and Kanye have been living apart for some time, and that Kanye's increasingly erratic behaviour was becoming more and more difficult to deal with. Kanye didn't appear to be at her "humble" private island 40th birthday getaway.
The last time I remember them being in the same room, he was revealing a hologram he'd had made of her dead father. The hologram told Kim that it was proud of her, and that she had married a genius.
Hours after an 'insider' leaked the news, the internet was ablaze with a stunning rumour about Kanye and make-up YouTuber Jeffree Star being lovers. Jeffree, for his part, fanned the flames (all publicity is good publicity, but this publicity was priceless) by posting a photograph geotagged to Wyoming, where Kanye has been living, with the caption "Ready for Sunday service". By Friday, Jeffree had released a 23-minute video explaining that, actually, he has never "hung out" with Kanye.
But celebrity gossip had bigger fish to fry.
Harry Styles appears to be dating his Don't Worry Darling director and co-star, Olivia Wilde, whose eight-year relationship with fiance Jason Sudeikis was confirmed to be over in November. The internet spat out its tea when photos emerged of the pair of them holding hands at a wedding last weekend.
There were a lot of questions: Who is having weddings at the moment? Can this relationship be casual if they are already plus-ones? Had Olivia and Jason's relationship actually ended by the time she met Harry Styles? Are we absolutely certain there wasn't any Mr and Mrs Smith Brad-and-Angelina- type shenanigans on set?
Sudeikis is certainly blankly sympathetic enough to be Jennifer Aniston in this: a comedy guy, handsome in a dad-at-the-school-gates way, but not like Harry Styles.
And Harry is a worthy Angelina Jolie - he is primed to be fallen in love with.
Since Caroline Flack on his first X Factor foray 10 years ago, we have known that to work with Harry Styles is to love him. We just thought his match would be universally beloved Florence Pugh, who was also on set.
Pugh, of Little Women/Midsommar/Instagram fame, is of an age to Harry (at 36 Wilde is 10 years older) and they are both not American and seem vaguely self-aware.
But really, it was less about Florence being with Harry, than Florence not being with Zach Braff, populariser of the manic-pixie-dream-girl trope, giver of The Ick, and enemy of the internet.
The January frenzy hadn't finished with us. Along with the engagement and break-up announcements, came an announcement from Zach Braff and Florence Pugh answering the eternal question, the riddle that keeps celebrity apologists up at night: are they really still together?
To mark luminous Florence's 25th birthday, 45-year-old Braff posted a tribute which included ill-advised words like "giggle" and the "gift" of Florence "being born". This seems almost obscene, calling to mind her birth, and the inevitable, unavoidable fact of it having happened when Braff was 20 years old and already in the industry, fast approaching tired irrelevance. The comments have been turned off on the post.
It all meant that Hilaria Baldwin's birthday passed without a whisper.
In a world gone strange, it's comforting that some things never change. As surely as day follows night, Operation Transformation arrives in January to fill us with either shame, or schadenfreude, or a confusing combination of the two. What would we do in January if we didn't have the annual argument about whether it's right in this day and age to have weight-loss TV which uses fat people who are desperate for help as entertainment? We'd be left only with the abyss.
But, of course, Operation Transformation is its own abyss. The furore started early this year, when the first episode showed a man in his underwear being told to stop smiling, this is serious. It revealed the rotten core at the heart of diet-culture, the lie we all know well: you can't be fat and happy.
It looked like a world that had no heroes left: rioters swarming up the Capitol building, attempting... what? A coup? A civil war in the midst of a pandemic? America was eating itself.
Out of the confusion of this Boschian hellscape rose Donie O'Sullivan, unphased: the hero we needed but didn't deserve. Killjoys reckoned our delight with Donie was the national inferiority complex at work; would we not let this serious reporter get on with his serious reporting.
And maybe there was a bit of that, but with most Irish millennials practically regressing in lockdown, it was nice to see one lad, over in America, living, and doing something different, and doing very well at his job. And nice with it. Let us have it, for God's sake.
And he wasn't the only Irishman offering incisive commentary on US news, for where there is history-making political upheaval so there will be Jedward. While BBC's Laura Kuenssberg weakly offered "looks like scuffles inside the Capitol", Jedward tweeted: "Trump supporters have stormed the Capital Building because Donald tweeted that Mike Pence betrayed him! When in reality Donald Trump betrayed the people!"
Look who's reporting now.