Brendan O'Connor: Let's put the celebrities in charge
As Donald Trump began to speak, the sky turned black, darker than Hughie Maughan's cheeks. And as he spoke, a darkness settled over the whole world. A great moaning and wailing went up as he goose-stepped across the stage, laughing maniacally, thunder claps punctuating each point he made.
The world could not believe what it was hearing. Trump had the gall to insult the status quo when the guardians of the status quo were standing all around him. How dare he attack these people who have made such a fine job of the planet? How dare he suggest there might be a better way of doing things than the economics that brought us mass unemployment, worldwide poverty, the richest eight people in the world owning as much as the half the world's population, an apparently unwinnable war on terror and large-scale disillusionment with politics?
His suggestion that he would put his own country first was viewed with more wailing and gnashing of teeth. "Nooooooooo!!!!!!" cried out Meryl Streep and Robert De Niro at Trump's suggestion that he would give power back to the people and attempt to create jobs for the little guy. And liberals everywhere felt a little less safe in their beds, with some of them even wetting them.