All we need now is bare minimum

Kathy Donaghy

Notebook

'Getting daily fresh air, a bit of exercise, and bringing some light-heartedness into life are important ingredients in this wellness mixing bowl too.' (stock picture)

May 01 2020 02:30 AM

I threw open the wardrobe door and peered inside. Pressed shirts, silk dresses, colourful skirts hanging side by side like relics from a past life. Reminders of a different time. Stuffed with stuff.

A momentary ripple of shame runs over me and I close the door. How much money and time was spent accumulating these things? I quickly grab the sturdy boots, the beat-up jeans and comfortable shirt - the utilitarian uniform now a daily staple. Like everything else in life, getting dressed has become pared back. Not going anywhere, comfort and utility are key.

Life with all its complexities, its carefully choreographed routine as we navigate school drop-offs, office politics, work meetings and social gatherings, no longer exists. What remains is a stripped back version of our old lives.

For all the talk that what will come after coronavirus will make for a better world in the way we work, socialise and prioritise, it's hard to escape the knowledge that this period is causing huge hardship, suffering and grief.

While stripping things back has been fêted in recent years as a way to regain control in your life, this stripping things back feels like one we're not in control of. It's brought loneliness to many, caused huge upheaval for people losing their jobs and hurts because we can't see many of the people we love.

No amount of distraction, hobbies or immersing ourselves in nature can soothe the rupture we feel.

Psychologist Niamh Fitzpatrick believes that having acknowledged the crisis we've been plunged into, it's useful to look at our lives from the perspective of what's a "nice to have" and a "need to have'".

From this new vantage point we can see that what is absolutely necessary is our health and wellbeing and that of our families - that's the need to have.

Fitzpatrick says it's not necessarily about being positive in the face of such huge change, but being what she calls "emotionally pragmatic" or getting on with things to the best of your ability.

Understanding the "why" behind the need for things to be stripped back with restrictions and lockdowns makes it easier to do this, she believes.

In psychology, the term "radical acceptance" is used for when we really accept something from the depths of our minds, hearts and souls. This is a key place to start to navigate these strange times well, says Fitzpatrick.

In many homes, we're watching the news for a date when we can finally come out into the world again and go beyond our 2k limits, seeking that magic date when this will be all over and normal service can resume.

But concerns of more waves of Covid-19 coming this winter, more weeks in lockdown and a summer of discontent as people lose their jobs could push even the most ardent optimist into pessimistic territory.

This is where the emotional pragmatism Fitzpatrick talks about comes in. And it's not rocket science.

It means getting the job done, like running your house in a way that's conducive to optimum health, having a good routine, taking a shower and cooking nourishing meals.

Getting daily fresh air, a bit of exercise, having a laugh and bringing some light-heartedness into life are important ingredients in this optimum wellness mixing bowl too.

There will, of course, be days when the weight of what's going on brings us low. There will be anxiety. On those days Fitzpatrick says it's a good idea to accept this ebb and flow is normal and then perhaps to do something to lift our spirits - go for a run, talk to a friend on the phone.

Stripping things back to the bare minimum: what do we need to do to stay healthy and sane and keep our families well? That's just about as much as any of us can do right now.