Saturday 16 February 2019

Terry Prone When I was 21, I wish I'd known...

Terry Prone
Terry Prone

That no man would ever fancy me -- except the only one I'd always have wanted to fancy me. Back then, I did dating like I did the dentist and sporadic diets. In advance, I knew I'd hate the process. I then did hate the process. But for a while I kidded myself it was going to have a good outcome. Nope. It never did. Then, having never had a date or a kiss, I got proposed to by the man who turned my life rightside up. Reader, I married him.

... That you can get lucky in love, not just once, but twice. I went and had a baby (with some co-operation from the man in my life, to give him his due). We figured we had enough affection to add another to the mix. You know yourself: anybody can produce a baby, what's the big deal? Infant duly arrived, as infants do. And then, Day 3, I fell in love with this baby. Hook, line and several sinkers. Which brought its own terrors until a friend told me babies have no precedents. They don't know what they're entitled to. They don't know when you're doing it wrong. And they love you just the same.

... That being a college drop-out wouldn't make the smallest difference to my career. If I'd known, I wouldn't have wasted time feeling ashamed about dropping out and having nightmares about exams. It took me a while to cop on that if you're prepared to ask stupid questions in every situation, you get enough information to survive. More to the point, if you ask enough stupid questions and pay enough attention to the answers, the people you're questioning think you're clever and wise.

... That almost every bad thing which would later happen to me, from car crashes to being fired from jobs, would, in the long run, turn out to be an improvement, rather than a disimprovement to life.

... That I was never going to be a good cook. That would have saved all the

time I spent trying to learn to make elaborate dishes that always end up looking and tasting like cowpats, and saved the money that went on Le

Creuset cookware I don't have the strength to lift.

Terry Prone's latest book 'Coach' is out now

Irish Independent

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