Saturday 18 November 2017

Kevin Myers: What we want in the Park is a little less Mary and rather more hairy

As David Norris's candidature apparently bites the dust, it's surely time to create a new consensus on the Presidency. There's no point in anyone trying to compete with President McAleese, or her predecessor.

Moreover, one has to be aged over 30 years to remember a time when we didn't have a female president. So we should review the job requirements, before the Aras irrevocably becomes the Ovary Office.

The primary stipulation is that, henceforth, empathy is banned. I was on a radio programme by phone with the presidential candidate Fergus Finlay some time ago, and he was limbering up like billy-oh for the great Aras steeplechase. Indeed, he oozed so much empathy that it was like being at the receiving end of the overflow pipe in the Tate & Lyle Golden Syrup factory the night the foreman went mad. Warm compassion for everyone slid glutinously through the telephone line, poured out of my earpiece, and soon filled my study. You could have fed it to bees.

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