Kevin Myers: Vegan vampires of cyberspace who live at home with Mammy
THE last time the Band of the Irish Guards came to the Republic, in 2000, 'social media' was merely a gossip column in the 'Evening Herald'. But Facebook and Twitter -- and no doubt other silicate malignancies of which I know nothing -- have changed everything. At the start of the century, a few hate-filled molecules of mediocrity dancing frenziedly in a dish could be ignored. But now they can attract wholly disproportionate attention, merely because they can daub their dotty graffiti in the public eye, courtesy of the internet.
Thus they've turned a nice little charity gig organised by the Irish security industry to raise money for the Jack & Jill Foundation, which does so much for neurologically sick children, into almost an endorsement of slavery, genocide and female circumcision. One typical Facebook message stated: "It's a pity that the Jack & Jill Foundation are helping to put nails in the coffins of children in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and Syria."
Yet actually, that's a fairly good summation of the thought processes of the strange, hysterical, historically ignorant, frothing hybrid that inhabits the tiniest margins of Irish life. It is partly perverse Irish republican, partly pathological conspiracy theorist, partly feminist, partly global eco-Marxist and wholly lunatic. It usually lives at home with its parents, and is most active at around 3am. It is a sort of vegan vampire, with a keen appetite for homicidal pacifism and murderous Buddhism. Its Facebook ranting is a haggis of tofu, entrails and right-on voodoo, all bound together in an aspic of hatred.